*Isadora's POV*
Duncan, Klaus, and I thought hard about a possible distraction. I could try to get them to listen to me reading my poetry, we could have Klaus go on a tangent about some random fact or book he's read recently, or we could mention Duncan's favorite journalist and see how long he can talk before Stephano got fed up... Really anything that had to do with us stalling by talking too much seemed like it could be easily stopped by Stephano pointing out that we're stalling. I was so busy thinking that I was surprised when I heard Sunny shriek "Eureka!" and begin to crawl deeper into the reptile room.
The littlest Baudelaire crawled over to the Incredibly Deadly Viper's cage and let him out. She whispered something to the creature and he seemed to nod in understanding, and started to play with her while she started screaming as loudly as possible. Klaus stifled a bit of laughter. "That scream is so fake," He said, clamping his hand over his face to hide his grin. My brother and I looked at eachother and snickered a bit as well. We obviously didn't know Sunny as well as her own brother did, but we could still tell quite well that she was faking, especially since we knew Inky was a little sweetie.
"My lord! Something is very wrong!!!" We heard Mr. Poe shouted from two rooms over. He appeared in the doorway of the reptile room with Stephano and Lucafont behind him. "Children?! Children!!"
"In here!" Klaus exclaimed, trying not to laugh. "Come quickly!"
Sunny was laying down on the marble floor, flailing her arms and legs around in the air as if she were trying to swim upside down. Her facial expression was the thing making me want to collapse on the floor in a fit of giggles though. Her mouth was wide open, showing her four sharp, little teeth and her eyes were blinking rapidly. Duncan had to bury his face into his hands and pretend he was crying in fear and not trying to keep down an overabundance of laughter. I knew from unfortunate experiences that when Sunny got scared, her face would scrunch up and she would grow silent, but anyone else who didn't know Sunny would probably think she was extremely frightened. Inky was wrapped around her body and slithering around her pretending like he was about to strike.
"The Incredibly Deadly Viper!!!" I squeaked, putting extra emphasis on the 'Deadly' to make them understand why we were all 'scared'. "It's gonna bite Sunny!!!" Sunny's eyes and mouth widened more as if this was something she realized only just now. Nurse Lucafont seemed shocked. Stephano had a blank look on his face, aside from his eyes shining brightly and the place where his eyebrow should have been was raised in curiosity. Mr. Poe, unexpectedly, was a panicker. Not a 'stand in one place hyperventilating' panicker, but more of a 'prancing like a gazelle on drugs and babbling anything that comes to one's head' panicker. It was quite a sight to see...
"Goodness!" He cried. "Golly! Good God! Blessed Allah! Zeus and Hera! Mary and Joseph! Nathaniel Hawthorne! Don't touch her! Grab her! Move closer! Run away! Don't move! Kill the snake! Leave it alone! Give it some food! Don't let it bite her! Lure it away! Here, snakey snakey! Here, snakey snakey!!"
Inky seemed to listen patiently to Mr. Poe's inane dribble, never taking his little green eyes off of her. Once Mr. Poe seemed slightly calmer, Inky gently bit Sunny right on the chin to sew even more horror into the adults. Klaus and I tried not to grin, Duncan was absolutely wrecked from concealing laughter (Which I'm quite proud of him for since Quagmires are giggly bitches by nature), Nurse Lucafont had gasped, Stephano continued to just stare, but oh boy did Inky give Mr. Poe more to panic about!
"It's bitten her!!!" He screamed. "It bit her! It bited her! Calm down! Get moving! Call an ambulance! Call the police! Call a scientist! Call my wife!! This is awful! This is terrible! This is ghastly! This is phantasmagorical! This is-"
"This is nothing to worry about," Stephano interrupted smoothly.
"What do you mean 'Nothing to worry about'?? Sunny's just been bitten by the... Klaus what's it called?"
"The Incredibly Deadly Viper." He answered promptly.
"The Incredibly Deadly Viper!!"
"Scarzee!!!" Sunny shrieked from the floor.
"Because the Incredibly Deadly Viper is completely harmless," Stephano said. "Calm yourself, Poe. The name is a misnomer that Dr. Montgomery created for his own amusement."
"Are you sure...?" Poe asked hesitantly, stepping slightly in the direction of Sunny and Inky.
"Of course I'm sure," He said, a look of sheer vanity on his face, eager to show off the little knowledge he has, "The snake is perfectly harmless, friendly even. Like a long, scaly puppy. A boop-noodle, if you will. I read up on the Incredibly Deadly Viper, and many other snakes, in the library section of the reptile room, as well as Dr. Montgomery's private papers."
Nurse Lucafont cleared their throat. "Uh, boss?"
"Don't interrupt me, Nurse Lucafont!" Stephano hissed. "I studied books on all of the major species. I looked carefully at sketches and charts. I took careful notes and looked them over each night before I went to sleep. If I may say so, I consider myself to be quite the expert on snakes."
"Aha!!" Sunny shrieked, disentangling herself from Inky.
"Sunny!" Mr. Poe said, relieved. "You're unharmed!"
"Aha!!" She said again, pointing at Stephano. The Incredibly Deadly Viper even seemed to look as triumphant as her little voice sounded.
Mr. Poe looked at the three of us, puzzled. "What does Sunny mean by 'Aha'?" He asked.
We sighed. It felt like we were constantly explaining things to Mr. Poe. "By 'Aha,'" Klaus said, "She means 'One minute, Stephano is claiming to be new to the world of Herpetology, as Mr. Poe said himself, and the next he's claiming to be an expert!'"
"By 'Aha,'" I said, "She means 'Stephano has been lying to us.'"
"By 'Aha,'" Duncan contributed, "She means 'We've finally exposed his dishonesty to you!'"
"By 'Aha,'" Violet said from the doorway, Stephano's suitcase in her arms, "My sister means quite simply: 'Aha.'"
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Family Comes First- ASOUE
Fanfiction"Family isn't always blood. It's the people in your life who want you in theirs; the ones who accept you for who you are. The ones who would do anything to see you smile and who love you no matter what." Violet, Klaus and Sunny Baudelaire were intel...
