Family Comes First- ASOUE

Chapter 28: A Brilliant Escape

*Isadora's POV*

"Well I'll be damned..." Mr. Poe said. "Children, I'm sorry, I guess you were right..."

"And you were wrong."

"On multiple accounts."

"Well then," Count Olaf said, taking off his glasses, "I guess you've found me out. Yes, I admit it I killed Monty. The question is: What are you gonna do about it?" He asked smugly.

Mr. Poe thought for a couple seconds. "I am placing you under a citizen's arrest!" He decided, grabbing his arm so he wouldn't go anywhere.

"I wonder what happened to Gustav," Klaus wondered aloud. "If he hadn't quit, then Count Olaf couldn't come work for Monty."

Count Olaf began to laugh. His eyes were wide and shiny and he stayed in one place, but he stared Klaus down as he laughed like a psycho in a slasher film. It went on far too long to be comfortable and his laughter became more uncontrollable as it went on. I clinged to Duncan in fear and he instinctively wrapped his arms around me protectively like a good brother.

"Gustav didn't quit!" He exclaimed finally. "I tranquilized him and drowned him in the reflecting pond, then forged a note saying he quit!!! That's nothing compared to what I'm going to do to you though! You're a bunch of brats with superiority complexes! I'd be doing the world a favor by getting rid of you socially anxious, spoiled orphans!"

"I bet you can't even spell half the words you just used!!" Klaus shouted at him.

"See? You think you're better than everyone else cause you're rich and smart, but you're not better than everyone else."

"He never said he was!" I spat. "You're the worst person to ever live! My brother and I would've been better off for that year legally under the guardianship of a ham sandwich!!"

"It doesn't matter who you'd be better off with," Mr. Poe said. "What matters is that you, Count Olaf, are going to jail for the rest of your days!"

"Orphans," Olaf said, ignoring the banker, "Do you know what my favorite part of being an actor is?"

"Fresheel?"

"Stealing your costume pieces to use for your evil schemes?"

"Using your shows as a way to carry out said evil schemes?"

"Adopting personality traits from psychopathic characters you've played as?"

"The main character complex?"

Olaf glared at us. "No. It's the dramatic exits." Before we could reply, he shed his lab coat, leaving the sleeve in Mr. Poe's hands. He and Emerson quickly ran out of the reptile room and we heard the front door swing open.

"After them!!" Klaus shouted, and the five of us started to chase them, but Mr. Poe stepped in front of us and blocked our path.

"No!" He cried.

"But they're getting away!!"

"I can't let you run after two dangerous criminals!" He replied. "I am responsible for your safety, and I will not have any harm come to you."

"Then you go after them!" I said. "But hurry!"

We heard the engine of Emerson's car start up and the two ruffians began driving down away and Mr. Poe just stared after them in shock.

"Go get in the jeep!" Klaus exclaimed. "They're escaping!"

"A grown man," Mr. Poe said sternly, "does not get involved in car chases. That's a matter for the police. I'll phone them right now, and they might be able to set up a roadblock at the end of Lousy Lane."