I'm Sorry- A Slipknot Story

Chapter 22

-after the show-

I wave a goodbye to Ari and she leaves to the next destination, and I walk backstage to meet back up with the guys. I stand in front of the exit of the stage and they walk out, Sid running up to me and hugging me, no heels to step on to get to my height. I keep in my tears and hug him tight, both of us burying our faces in each other's necks. We let go and he holds out a necklace for me, the tribal S as the charm.

"Someone chucked it at me and it hit me square in the face. I think it's for you," he says, putting it on me.

"Whoever wanted to assassinate you with a necklace didn't do it properly, but thanks," I say. 

I walk with Corey and think about the trial on the 15th. Tears come to the surface and I keep them back, stepping onto the bus and walking to the beds. I turn away and they change, Corey walking to me and looking in my eyes. He does this when I have tears and I have no idea why or how he knows I have tears. His smile turns to concern when I let the tears out and he stands in front of me.

"What's wrong? Why are you crying," he asks.

"Nothing's wrong. It's just," I start, pausing when he pulls me into a hug. I hug him and take a breath.

"Arron's getting tried on November 15th," I say, Corey freezing and letting go, holding me by my upper arms gently.

"He is," Corey exclaims, making the other guys look up to us. I nod and smile, Sid jumping up and stepping to me, hugging me and spinning me around.

"It's a miracle," Sid cries, setting me down and hugging me again.

"Not yet it isn't. The real miracle in when he gets put away," I say. 

Sid lets go and sits back down, Corey sitting with me on my bed. I wipe my face with my sleeves and sniff, calming down and smiling at the thought of Arron wearing orange. We forget the conversation and start a new one, talking about how someone tried to knock out Sid with a necklace.

"Actually, I almost go hit in the eye by that," Sid says.

"Really? It really must be mine," I say, turning over the charm and seeing a 9 in red.

"He actually got hit, took a step back, looked for it and found it spinning on the record he put on. It was honestly worth it though," Shawn says, making me smile.

"I think if they threw it at me, I would look at it, flip off the person and put it on just for the safe keeping," Corey says, making me smile more. I'm glad to have friends like this.

-Nov. 14, end of tour-

"Back here I see," I say to myself, seeing Iowa again. 

Today was... hectic. It's currently nighttime, but I couldn't sleep so I read with a light on in the lounge room, waiting for Iowa to come back to me. We just came back from L.A. and all of the guys are wiped out, almost passing out once they get on the bus. I told them to go to sleep after they changed back into their clothes and they just got into their bunks and slept with their clothes on. 

As far as I know, they're dead sleeping now, so I can go back to my house and drop off everything I got today and wake them up after. The bus stops and I stand, putting my book back and picking up my bag. I put it on my shoulder and the doors open, letting me step off.

"Liz," Claire says, hugging me tight.

"I'm back. But not for long," I say, hugging her and putting my bag in the back of her car.

"What does that mean," she asks, driving to my house.

"It means there's another tour coming up, and I'm coming along. They say I'm a happiness magnet," I say, Claire taking my bag and walking inside with me.

"Oh, I saw the shoes. Oh boy are they.... something," she says, setting my bag in the laundry basket and walking back to me, walking with me to the living room.

"What are you wearing to the trial," she asks, making me slap my forehead and sigh.

"I forgot all about that. Let's go pick something out," I say. 

Both of us race up to my room and I stop looking into Arron's room and the memories flooding in. Claire puts a hand on my shoulder and I don't look at her, staring at his bed where he would sleep if he sleeps in his room.

"Claire," I start, her humming.

"What if I killed him in his sleep? What would've happened," I ask, not looking at her.

"Don't say that. You know you would've gone to prison for it," she says.

"What if I hung myself? Slit my throat? Cut my wrists? Would he have tried to stop me," I continue, Claire turning me away from that room and making me face her. I look at the floor and I see out of the corner of my eyes, her in tears.

"Liz, it's not funny. Don't think like that, ever. He may not have stopped you, but any of the nine guys that love you like a sister along with me, your friend, would stop you and get you help. I never want to see you do these things, ever," she says, making me cry out of realization of what I said. I hug her tight and she hugs me just as tight, crying too.