I'm Sorry- A Slipknot Story

Chapter 91

-afternoon-

Sid let me move to the bear while he switches with Joey to work on the songs. Joey reads as I braid his hair into an inverted Dutch braid. I hear someone open my door, but both of us don't look up from what we're doing. I thought it was Sid and Joey thought it was him too since Sid's become protective of me.

"I told you I'm okay Sid," I say without looking up.

"Not Sid," Corey says. 

He sounds like he's sober and been crying for hours. Both of us whip our heads to him and Joey starts to get up, but I pull him back down to finish the plait. I look back at the braid and Corey slowly walks in, leaving the door open so he can make a quick escape.

"What do you want," Joey spits.

"I just want to say that I'm sorry. I don't know what I said to push you, but I'm sorry for not taking your advice. You were right. I should've stopped drinking when you said, because when I woke up everything hurt," he says.

"You're sorry about everything else except the thing that matters?! You're nothing but a-"

I put my hand on Joey's shoulder and he stops, letting me speak.

"I appreciate what you're trying to say, but do you realize how much you said to me that day," I ask calmly, finishing the braid.

"How much," he asks.

"You said that I was a nag, that if I was your wife we would be divorced in a year because of the nagging, you said, and I quote, 'I wish you would just die already. You're dragging me down. You're dragging all of us down. Just die. Kill yourself already. Then you might actually help us. This is why your parents never loved you. This is why they sent you to an asylum. Because you're not normal. Why can't you just be normal for once.'," I say calmly. I would scream at him just like he did to me, but it wouldn't help anyone in this room. Not even me.

"I-I said that? All of that," he asks. I could hear the realization in his voice that he did indeed tell me to kill myself.

"Yes," I say. 

The only thing keeping Joey from almost putting Corey in the hospital is me. I finished the braid so Joey could get up at any time, but he stays because he knows I don't want him to. I look at Corey and what I expected to see was him frozen, but that wasn't what happened. He, the frontman for a world-known band, breaks out into crying. I had put my bolts and socks on, so I snap my legs on and stand up. I open my arms and he hugs me tight, my ears picking up Joey standing behind us.

"I'm sorry I-I said th-hose things-"

"Just cry. That's all you need to do right now," I say gently.

"You're seriously going to help him?! Even when he told you to kill yourself," Joey exclaims.

"If you were in Corey's shoes right now, would you like for me to help you," I ask.

"Yes but I wasn't the one who told you to specifically kill yourself in order to help the band," Joey says.

"Is he even thinking in his own mind? He could be drunk," Joey says.

"Drunk or not, he's trying," I say. He throws his hands up and walks out, my mind clearly not seeing his side of things this time. Corey stops crying and I let go, looking at his red eyes.

"Joey's right, you shouldn't help me," he says.

"Even though you said those things, I still love you like a brother, and I know you still love me like a sister. And I will always love you, no matter what you say to who," I say.

"I think it's time to go downstairs and find someone I need to apologize to," I say. 

We go downstairs and I walk around the mansion, not finding tall Satan. I decide to go downstairs, where I find all of them practicing except Corey. I lean my forearm on the railing and watch them, hearing their parts pretty well mixed. They end their song and Craig sees me, pulling me into a hug. Soon, everyone hugs me and gets a look at my wrists, which had white bandages wrapped around them.

"Why didn't you say anything," Jim asks.

"If you were just in my situation, would you have the willpower to talk about it right after it happened," I ask.

"Good point," he says.

"You should get back upstairs," Sid says.

"Sid," I start, putting a hand on his shoulder, "I'm older than you. I like that you're looking out for me, but I met you when you were 18. I think I'm fine."

He gives me puppy eyes bigger than Sakari's and I roll my eyes, hugging him.

"You're worse than Sakari," I say. I let go and walk back upstairs, going to the living room. I sit next to a ghost and another pats my head, walking past.

-night-

I walk to my dresser and pick out a pajama set because I get the feeling Sid won't let me sleep alone for a few nights. I change into them and walk back to my bed, Sid walking in. He's in his pajamas as well, and he climbs into my bed on the other side.

"Is 90 becoming a real thing," I tease. I don't mind that he's doing this, but I gotta have fun sometimes.

"No Liz. Don't give into the dark side," he says. 

I laugh and take my legs off, taking my bolts and socks off after. I put them on my nightstand and get under the covers, me being the one to cuddle. I put my head on Sid's chest and wrap my left arm around him, tucking my right arm on my stomach. The only thing I hear before I fall asleep is Sid's heartbeat.