I'm Sorry- A Slipknot Story

Chapter 63

-Liz's POV-

"Corey," I ask, shaking his shoulder gently.

"Corey, it's time to go home," I say.

I already had my coat on and the voices had to say something about that, so I wrote more in my notebook. I did, however, finish some more sketches of the coveralls and even made some chibis of the guys wearing the new attire.

"We need to talk," he says, making me confused.

"Um, okay. When," I ask. He's the one making me worried now.

"Now," he says.

"Like right now," I ask, pointing down.

"Yes right now. This is urgent," he says. I take off my coat and hang it back up, seeing him picking up my notebook. He quickly reads over the new stuff and he shakes his head, closing it as quickly as he opens it.

"Is this about the writing? I can stop if you want," I say. I won't.

"No. Please, keep writing in this. It's just...," he trails off as he looks away.

"Just what? If you're worried about what's in it, then don't read it," I say. I kind of want him to read it.

"It is what in it. What those voices are saying to you. It's scaring me to the point where I think you need more than my help," he says.

"Look, I appreciate that you're thinking about my mental health, but I don't need a doctor," I say. I sit on Chris' percussion set and cross my legs, making Corey look at me with a sad/worried look your mom would give you when you've skinned your knee.

"These things they're saying to you... they're beyond what anyone should be taking in mentally. You need more help; from someone who knows this kind of thing," he says, setting his hand on the notebook cover.

"I'm the one who knows this kind of thing. I'll be fine without help from those doctors," I say. I remember the treatments I used to get in the asylums after my parents found out I could see and hear ghosts beyond what anyone could. They called it 'the sixth and seventh sense', and they got rid of it.

"Those doctors? Is there something you're not telling me," he asks. I look away to Sid's set and clamp my mouth shut, holding back tears.

"Please, tell me what you're not telling me. You know I won't tell anyone else," he says. I stay silent and I pull my lips in, biting down on them and tasting blood.

"Why won't you tell me," he asks, walking to me.

"Please Liz, tell me what you aren't," he says.

"I don't want to go back," I say. It was so quiet that Corey barely heard it, but only heard 'I don't'.

"You don't what," he asks.

"I don't want to go back," I scream, covering my temples from the shocks. My tears stream down again and I feel myself spiraling back to square one, back in the hallway.

"I don't want the treatment," I scream, making Corey step back a few feet.

"It hurts!! It hurts," I scream over a over again, digging my nails into my hair and covering my temples with my palms.

"I don't want it!! It hurts!! I don't want the treatments!! They hurt me!!"

"IT HURTS!!"

My voice goes momentarily and I silently scream my lungs out, feeling my throat burn. I stop screaming and I cry, folding myself into my lap. I still protect my temples and Corey stays where he is, paralyzed from how I reacted.

-Corey's POV-

Fuck. I broke a dam of memories that I cannot fix. She screams until her voice goes, but she still screams her lungs out. She stops and rests her upper half on her lap, crying hard and shaking. She has her hands on her temples and her nails dug into her hair, not taking them off for anything. I just hope she's okay and I didn't do anything wrong that'll make her ghost me. Again.

-Liz's POV-

I cry all of the tears I have, but I try to create more by my body coming up with more times in the asylum. The memories of the electroshock therapy treatments swim in my mind, taking me back to the room itself. I create more tears and shed them, feeling the shocks on my temples.

"Stop! Stop! Stop," I say over and over. I squeeze my eyes shut and the tears slip out, falling onto my legs. They burn on my cuts, and it didn't help.

"HELP ME!!"

In an instant, I get ripped out of the room and out of my memories, being lifted off the percussion set and into a hug. I don't hug back, but I keep my hands on my temples. I dig my forehead on their shoulder and I start shaking, my heart racing out of control.

"I'm here, I'm here," Corey says softly. He gently rubs my back and I feel my crying stop, finally running out of tears.

"It hurts," I whisper one last time. I feel my heart slow to normal, but the shocks stay; hurting my temples for the next few days or so. Corey slowly lets go, keeping his hands on my arms in case I react like that again.

"I don't want to cross a line, but do you want to talk about what the fuck just happened," he asks. I wipe my face with my sleeves and force a smile, it hurting everything to do so. I drop it and sigh, deciding he needs to know in case anything like this happens again.