I'm Sorry- A Slipknot Story

Chapter 62

-Liz's POV-

We make it back to the studio and the whole time I walk, I write what the voices said before. By the time I finish, I've written a third of a page. I enter the studio and they're wondering where I went, worrying if I got hurt. I hang up my coat and Joey looks over, running to me. I pick him up as he runs to me and I hug him around the ribs, him hugging me around the neck.

"You're not dead," he says in my hair, making me laugh.

"I'm not. I just had to do something and I forgot to tell you guys," I lie. They can't know what happened. Corey knows and that's too many people.

"And where did you go," he asks Corey after I set him down.

"She said she needed my help and I went with her," he lies.

"You guys aren't making Lorey a thing, right," Sid asks.

"No. That's not going to happen," we both say.

"Oh yeah, have you heard the new ship? It's a good one," Chris says.

"What," I say.

"Since no one found out your name yet, they had to improvise," he says.

"It's called 90. As in your number and Sid's number," he says, both me and Sid looking at him.

"Fuck the shippers. Fuck them all. That's not stopping me from hugging Liz every chance I get," Sid says as he hugs me.

"What have they done! They've made the cling-on more clingy," I say, hugging him anyway.

"I'm not clingy, I'm just affectionate," he retorts, making me laugh.

"This is why I love you guys like brothers," I say.

"And that's why we love you like a sister. You're like a laid back sister to us," Mick says. I get an idea after he says it.

"Ya know the time I had spiky shoes," I start.

"And you had to pick me up to hug me," Sid says.

"Yeah, but you guys made me hug Joey too. What if, since the two of you are tallest, would pick me up? Not now, but on tour if we have one," I say.

"So, you're saying one of us should pick you up and hug you to see how far off the ground you are," Jim asks.

"Exactly," I say as I point to him.

"That's going to be a sight I have to see," Joey says.

"Oh yeah, what did I look like when she hugged me," he asks.

"You looked like you were a life sized doll to put it shortly," Chris says.

"You saying I'm the size of a doll," he asks, crossing his arms.

"To me honest, you kind of are," I say. He glares at me, but it doesn't last one second after I smile at him.

"God damnit, how do you do that," he asks.

"What? Be insanely adorable so I don't get glared at," I ask.

"You aren't insanely adorable," Corey starts.

"You're ungodly adorable. I don't know how you do it, but you do," he says.

"Okay, back on track," I say, waving my hands.

"How do you guys like the masks," I ask.

"We all love them. Now, we have a question with this," Shawn says, showing the coveralls.

"Oh, that's the coverall idea. It's not official, but it's a start," I say. 

The voices act up and I pick up the pencil, writing what they say neatly and on the lines. Even when they act up, I still keep my mind straight. Corey looks at the paper and I flip it, writing more and more. I stop writing and put the pencil in my ponytail, closing the notebook.

"You should become a designer because this is amazing," Sid says.

"Thanks guys, but it's just an idea. You can make something else for it if you want," I say. Corey flips to the page that I wrote on and reads it, getting worried when he reads what they're telling me now.

'Guys don't like skinny girls.'

'They think they're disgusting.'

'You're disgusting.'

'Bruce doesn't like you.'

'He's pitying you.'

'The only way you got that date was because he's blind.'

'He's blind so you wouldn't be rejected.'

'Maybe you should go blind.'

'Go blind because of how disgusting you are.'

'Take your fingers and see how far they'll go into your eyes.'

'Take out your eyes.'

'I bet they'll taste good with salt.'

'Or maybe you should go back to your razor.'

'It's missing you.'

'Your skin.'

'Your blood.'

'Your gun wants to be held again.'

'To play Russian Roulette.'

'This time with five bullets.'

'Tonight.'

'After those bastards go to sleep.'

'So they don't interrupt it.'

'The bloodletting.'

'The cleansing ritual.'

'It'll help you get better.'

'Unlike that bastard druggie's idea.'

I glance at him and he slowly backs away from the words, regretting reading from it.

"I think you should go with this idea. I think you should make more versions of it," Paul says.

"Ya know, I think so too," I say, glancing at Corey. He's against the wall, his eyes wide with worry and fear, his hands slightly shaking, his mouth making words but no sound coming out.

-Corey's POV-

Oh my god. This is worse than my demons on a bad day. I need to get her actual, professional help. Like, from a psychiatrist. I can't even begin to imagine how sinister her voices were when she was with Arron. She must've been in so much pain mentally from these words being said from the voices. On top of the fact that Arron abused her every day relentlessly and didn't let her go outside. 

And now, as she's healing from that, the voices are going wild from Bruce, I think that Frenchman she met, being blind. I mean, how do they even spin these lies this fast? She was writing so fast, but so neat and on the lines. Like they wanted her to do it so she can read them again and spiral out again.