Aurora Borealis

Chapter 45 - Where It All Started

>> • LAUREN • <<

"Why are there tears in your eyes?"

Nang mapagtantong mayro'n ngang dumadaloy na luha sa kaniyang mata ay mabilis niya itong pinahiran at umaktong para bang walang nangyari.

"I hate that I'm hanging out too much with people like you." aniya pa.

"I don't see anything wrong with hanging out with us."

"Everything about your gang is what's wrong!"

I got startled when he yelled for the second time. Nanahimik na lamang ako habang nakayuko at nakatitig sa lupa.

"I'm sorry. I got carried away by my frustration."

"Are you feeling like this because you're  worrying that it might happen again?" I asked.

"You know why I hate all of you?"

He paused for a moment and stared at the horizon with his lonely eyes.
"Eveything that I once had is slipping away that I don't care anymore whether things come and go. But all of you... all of you made me remember how I'm eager to hold on to what I have.."

"I heard from Agnes that you stopped pursuing painting when that tragedy happened." I blurted out. I'm hoping that bringing up the past won't rub salt in his wounds.

"Yeah, for eight years."

Nanlaki ang mata ko, "What?! Eight years?"

"Whenever I'm trying to hold a paintbrush in those years, the liveliness that gushes in my heart seems to be missing." saad niya. "Paulit-ulit kong ginagawa ko 'yon sa pagbabaka-sakali na baka bumalik ulit yung motivation ko. But all is for nothing, so I thought of ending it there."

I find myself relating to what he's been going through. I am aware of how hard it is do things that you love but you can't, all because the feelings inside me holds me back instead of being able to express those.

"Ibig sabihin, noong isang taon ka lang nakapagsimula ulit?" tanong ko pa.

"Exactly at the Night Phase Festival. I've been forcing myself to at least be motivated that I'll be able to see fireworks up close and make a canvas out of it," he sighed. "..yet something seems to be lacking."

"I was about to finally give up painting that time and wondered what careers should I be getting if this one's not for me." aniya. "That's when you guys showed up."

Ibinaon niya ang mukha sa nakahalukipkip na mga brasong nakapatong sa kaniyang mga tuhod.

"Ah.. I hate it.."

He groaned out of frustration. Hindi ko alam kung nagagalit ba siya dahil sa nanghimasok kami sa teritoryo niya noon o sadyang ayaw niya lang talaga sumama sa picture-taking.

"I hate it!"

"Are you okay?"

"Am I okay?" tanong niya sa sarili at nag-angat ng tingin. Masiyadong matalim ang mga titig niya sa 'kin, "Of course not!"

"How could I be okay when all I'm thinking about every day is you?!"

Natigilan naman ako sa narinig. I see, so he's mad at me.

Wait, did he just say that he's thinking of me?!

Calm down, Lauren. Maybe you just misheard it, maybe it's just hallucination.

Tinampal-tampal ko ang mga pisngi ko dahil kung ano-ano na ang naririnig ko.

"Can you please repeat what you just said? I don't think I'm following with the conversation—"