Aurora Borealis

Chapter 54 - A Broken Soul's Canvas

>> • BALDO • <<

Her eyes.

Her voice.

Her.

She made me feel weak on my knees just by seeing her, again.

Ni hindi pa man lumilipas ang isang linggo no'ng huli ko siyang nakita sa kanila. Of all places, why there?

I made sure that we stayed a little more longer at the mall 'til the evening so that the chances of us running across Lauren will be low. I'm glad my mother never noticed her on that shop as she's busy searching for new dresses.

"I'm sorry." bigla na lamang lumapit sa 'kin si Mama at hinaplos ang braso ko. "Hindi na sana 'ko nakipagtalo kung alam kong kaibigan mo pala yung babaeng nakita natin sa mall."

She's still not over what happened with Wendy and her earlier. Wendy doesn't seem to mind those so I think she has nothing to worry about.

"Why are you apologizing about it? I'm not upset." wika ko.

"Kanina ka pa kasi walang ganang kumain. Hindi mo pa ginagalaw yung pagkain mo." nag-aalalang saad niya sa 'kin.

"Don't worry about me. I'm fine." ngumiti ako sa kaniya at sumubo ng isang kutsara. "See?"

A reassured look surfaced on her face, "Dahan-dahan sa pagkain. Baka mabulunan."

"Matagal na rin mula no'ng huli kitang naipagluto ng makakain." dagdag pa niya. "Pasensya na talaga."

"I understand. Sanay na rin naman akong magluto kaya hindi mo na kailangang pagurin yung sarili mo para sa ganitong mga bagay." saad ko.

"Hayaan mo, babawi ako sa susunod. Lahat ng paborito mo, iluluto ko. Ayos ba 'yon?"

I gave her a thumbs up and nodded.

Tinapos ko agad ang hapunan bago pumunta sa kuwarto ko. Umalis na rin si Mama dahil kailangan niya pang magtrabaho.

Rolling and tossing myself over and over didn't bring me to sleep. I decided to go to my atelier once more to clear off my thoughts.

Unlike before, it's more cleaner and refreshing to look at. The moist and mossy scent no longer shrouds the room. I repainted the room a few weeks ago so the ambiance is brighter. The blinders were also removed and replaced with gold silk curtains.

Kinapa ko ang switch at binuksan ang ilaw. It gave me a clearer look at my atelier.

The easels were no longer scattered as they're properly inclined to the wall. I hung some of my artworks on the wall to create more space on the floor.

Looking back from my old paintings, I've been painting everything with the brightest colors. I believed everything revolves only on warm colors and so I painted like that when I was five.

I used to hate color black.

As someone who prefers analogous color schemes before, I only focused on what looks bright. Whenever I open my old crayon boxes, the color black is the only crayon left pointy or unused that much.

Why? Because for me, it ruins my drawings. Black paint devours every color around it, unlike with white where it's the one being devoured by other colors itself.

I am that black color. No matter what vibrant colors you'll mix, it will still remain dark or dull if not black.

Kumuha ako ng isang blangkong canvas at isa pang easel. With the palette that she gave me, I squirted the paint tubes all over it without proper plan on how I'll use the colors that I've picked.

I'm a liar, Lauren. Those words meant nothing. But on top of those, this liar told you one truth.

I love you.

Without hesitating, I dipped my brush on the palette and started laying the founding colors on the canvas.

Gusto pa kitang makasama.

Gusto kitang bawiin, kahit na hindi ako sigurado kung ako talaga yung gusto mo o pinaglalaruan mo lang ako.

I've started painting the details in her eyes. How it sparkles. How stunning it becomes whenever the rays of light coruscates in it. How it draws me nearer to take a closer look of it.

I can feel the weight my lips carry as it tries too hard not to twitch. I bit it down while focusing myself on the canvas.

The hair comes next as I've finished the layout of the skin.

Her hair is pitch-black and always tied back. When it's loose, it gently bounces on the wind freely. It's smooth and manageable that it sometimes entices me to run my fingers on it.

That day, on Tohru's brother's wedding, I can't keep my eyes off on her. Everyone's looking gorgeous, but she's the only one who remained completely vivid in my memory of that day.

She's driving me crazy since two years ago.

I started painting her dress as I'm careful not to make any mistakes in tones and hues.

Binalot ng panginginig ang kamay ko. Aksidenteng nabitiwan ko ang brush at agad akong yumuko upang pulutin iyon.

Upon spreading the brush on the canvas one more time, a sharp stabbing feeling strike on my chest.

I couldn't catch my breath. It's like something's tightly squeezing my heart from the inside. Napahawak ako ng mahigpit sa aking dibdib habang hinihintay na humupa ang ilan pang segundo hanggang sa mawala ang pakiramdam na iyon.

I've been gasping for air but every attempt to breathe only makes it more painful. Sinubukan kong tumayo ngunit bumagsak din ako sa sahig dahil sa labis na kirot.

My arms tried reaching out on the canvas. I need to finish it while ideas are still surging...

A cough almost blew my ribs off.

Panicking, I reached out for my phone on my pocket and pressed the call button of someone's number that I haven't recognized because my vision's starting to get blurry.

"H-Help...please." I winced in pain as the stabbing feeling grows extremely intense as seconds pass by.

"Find m-me..."

The remaining words that I've wanted to say was inaudible now that I'm losing my strength.

Somebody... help me.

Everything's spinning and I lost hold of my phone. The dark starts enveloping my consciousness as the cold floor and the paint residues dripping on my fingers were the last things that I've seen before these eyes closed.

From then on, I don't have the memory of what happened next.