Female reader x Jay Halstead.
this was requested by beautifullybroken018 hope you enjoy.
before you read please know that their is mentions of self harm. please if you are not comfortable with that topic don't read this part. this is an extremely sad topic, so i'm really begging you that if you don't feel comfortable around the topic then please do not read this. if you ever have thoughts of self harm or suicide please call this number- 800-273-8255.
prompt- 7 "Because nobody cares about me."
word count-
________________________________
Jay was my best friend. He's always been my best friend. He knew everything but one thing about me. The reason I wore long sleeved shirts all the time. Sure he questioned it but I never told him why. I hoped he would never find out but one night he did.
—
I had an all around crappy day at work. Every patient that I was responsible for died. 4 people died because of me. I went to the bathroom and looked for the razor blade that I kept in my medicine cabinet. I had to do something. I hated myself, and of course I was an idiot and I had to be the one who made the calls that got people killed.
When I could find it I went into my shower and took apart the razor that I used to shave my legs. I haven't done this in so long in fact the scars were starting to heal, but I had to feel the pain that I caused on those family's today.
-
I sat down on the toilet and cut open one of my scars. I winced at the pain, as a tear rolled down my face. I continued that action three times until I heard my door open and shut.
"Y/n where are you I brought takeout?" What sounded like Jay shouted.
I quickly rolled my sleeve down and wiped the tears off my face.
"Coming."
I walked out to the kitchen of my apartment to see Jay with Chinese food.
"Hey there you are. How was work?" He asked getting plates and forks.
I noticed that I could see the blood soaking through my sleeve so I put my hand over my arm.
-
"Is everything okay y/n?" Jay asked
"Oh yeah everything's fine." He eyed my shirt.
"Is that blood? Are you bleeding?" He started to worry. He tried to move my hand but I wouldn't let him. He gave me a look of empathy so I moved my hand. He rolled my sleeve up.
"Oh my god, Y/n."
I felt the tears start in my eyes.
"Did you do this to yourself?" I slowly nodded.
"Why?"
"Because nobody cares about me. Everyone hates me. I hate myself."
He stopped me from rambling on.
"I care about you."
I didn't say anything I just nodded. He grabbed a kitchen towel and pressed it to the bleeding cuts.
After they stopped bleeding he just pulled me into a hug.
I listened to his heart beat.
"I'm gonna help you through this. I promise." I nodded in tears.
And he did mean it. He did help me.
