Hello hello
I was super paranoid on Saturday or Sunday!!
I was in the studio drawing, and at some point I leaned back to look at my drawing, and then I leaned back in to continue and I just froze
I've had plenty of chest pains before lol but not like this!! It didn't feel like a cramp on one side like usual, it felt like my lungs were collapsing!! (I'm not dramatic at all lmao)
My entire chest hurt so bad I was afraid to move, and the longer it lasted, the more freaked out I got, and I scared myself so bad I felt like I was about to faint
I kept thinking I was gonna collapse and die alone in my studio 😭😂
Anyone else here really bad at breathing with their stomach and not their chest? XD Years of anxiety does things to you, I don't know how to break my bad habit, I'm pretty sure that's why I get sudden pains that feels like my chest is cramping up 😔✌️
Still, that was pain I've never felt before and I was so scared XD Plus we're watching Your Lie in April so that's kinda been in the back in my head and scaring me lol
I don't know why but I ended up reading a list of every single death that has ever occurred in Disney World and I've realized how many people just drop dead for no apparent reason and I've lowkey scared myself a little XD
So the chest pain had me thinking "this is it" 😂
Bruh Your Lie in April does something to me T_T I can't even begin to imagine what it must feel like to know that you have no future
And that ending song just hits differently 😭😭
This is a little spoiler for YLIA :> Just about everyone always knows this, but in case you don't, just skip this part lol
the episode I just watched is burned into my memory because just earlier today I mentioned that I know the cat in YLIA is a symbol for something but I'm not quite sure what (I've seen YLIA before but it's been so long)
It's a symbol of Kaori
Kousei watching Koari in that state was enough to break my heart
But that scene with the cat just hit so much deeper because the realization hit me that it symbolizes the life in Kaori, and the cat was dead
And then Kousei just cried
AND I JUST ALSJALDJAL
Now I'm gonna watch her die tomorrow and I'm on my period 😔😔😔
One of the most painful moment imo will always be when Kaori fell and her legs wouldn't move, and she was just hitting her legs and telling them to stand and she just sat there and cried
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I was so scared of fainting in science class on Friday lol
We're learning about biotechnology and genetic modification, and we were learning a lot about artificial insemination and it was getting way too detailed for my liking 😭
Too much talk about taking eggs out and putting them back in and shots and needles and askalshalxjla
I got flashbacks of sex ed back in 9th grade with that stupid video of a lady giving birth in her bathtub and it was so graphic and so much screaming and ahhhhakxjakskak
I had to keep squeezing my hands because I was feeling lightheaded and warm again and I really didn't want to faint again 😭 I feel dizzy now just writing about it lol
