I probably had the most fucked up dream ever two nights ago
It kinda reminded me of IT because a lot of traumatic things happened to me when I was younger but I had no memories of it, but then it came back to me as an adult and I had to face it once and for all
I can't remember the whole thing but basically I had people following me my entire life. When I was older, I found photos they had taken of me all throughout my life >_< Like they wanted to keep an eye on me at all times, waiting for the right time to finish what they started
I was kidnapped when I was 7 or 9 or something and I ended up with a barcode on my arm, but it disappeared as my memories of being kidnapped disappeared
They let me go because I wasn't ready to be sold on or something, so they were gonna let me go but keep tabs on me (hence all the photos)
They tried to kidnap me again when I was older and that's when the memories came back, along with the barcode on my arm
I only remember bits and pieces from here on out but I believe I was tortured?? I remember my arm being broken (I had just read about a character breaking their arm in IT before I went to bed lol), and then I was either saved or I escaped because then I was in a hospital
I had scars on my broken arm and all over my stomach, like my stomach had been cut open T_T And of course the barcode was still on my arm
That's when I got to see the photos those people were keeping of me over the years >_< I also found old photos that my parents and other people had taken of me throughout the years, and there was always one of the kidnappers hiding somewhere in the photos and it was just really creepy
This dream was a lot scarier than it sounds, I swear XD I don't know why I keep dreaming about being kidnapped, stalked, human trafficked and/or murdered T_T WHY ARE MY NIGHTMARES SO AWFUL 🤣
And every time I have a nightmare like this, I can't help but think what if it's my subconscious warning me or something? *o*
But then I thought of something that honestly scares me more
What if it's telling me something about my past? T_T
Not that I've been kidnapped or tortured or anything lmfao, but that suppressed memories are coming out as warped and exaggerated dreams (yEs I still think about the whole suppressed memories thing occasionally 😂)
That one dream about Earl Brian Bradley where he said that one sentence to me and I broke down - that seriously did something to me because I feel sick to my stomach just thinking about it T_T And it bothers me because I can't for the life of me remember what he said!! Those words completely left my brain the moment I woke up, all I remember was the pure terror that coursed through my body when I heard it, it was unlike anything I've ever felt before in my entire life and I grew up with severe anxiety - I know what fear feels like
It was so bad that I woke up shaking and all I wanted to do was lay there and cry, and I have no idea why because I can't remember that stupid sentence =3=
I wasn't supposed to digress so muchhh, I'm sorry :>
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I met up with a few of my friends and went to a cafe with them yesterday! :D
And then T and I met up with Shay again and drew some more together :) I always feel a little guilty being there because it's really only T and Shay that talks and I jump in every now and then >_< I just can't multitask when I'm drawing, I don't have the brain cells to be able to concentrate on drawing and talking at the same time XDD
