TART The Sequel (TART 4)

Lots of Drunk Texting

Before we started drinking last night, T saw my "Iggy is watching" background and said that I was probably gonna forget about it after I started drinking and then start laughing at it

That definitely happened 😂😂 I remember laughing so hard at my screen and showing it to whoever was next to me (I can't remember at this point lmfao) and I just sat there like "IggY iS wAtChinG pffFT"

I don't know why I tried so hard to tell people that I'm not drunk lmao, look at me trying so hard XDD

I need to share some messages I sent last night though, they were too funny not to share XDD

"Salami" I CAN'T BREATHE ALXIOAOW WHY

"I can't see lol" 😂😂

The best part was "are you gonna be ok?" "I hope" 👌 I've never used that emoji before in my life lmfao

My logic was that as long as I'm not throwing up, I'm fine XD I wonder how many times I said "I'm not drunk" and "I'm fine" last night lol

I just realized that I was literally the "this is fine" meme last night XD

I wasn't emotional at all when I was drunk, but there was one moment that really made me want to cry :')

I was sitting next to Amalie's brother, I was very drunk at this point lol, and I don't know how but Mal came up in our conversation (I can't remember who but there was some other people talking with us as well)

He wondered what really went down with Mal and why we all hated her, which was obviously an awful thing to ask the drunkest people in the room XDD I think I just started yelling that she's a bitch and I started naming all the things that she did to me and at some point I said that she never cared about me, I was just her trophy

One of my friends, who was also a little drunk, then told me that Mal had legit told her that she straight-up never liked me. She just looked like such a hero for getting close to and opening up someone as damaged as me. I was literally nothing more than her trophy all along, our entire friendship was a lie

I always kinda knew that but having my theory proven right still hurts like a bitch :') Which is why I get even more mad when people have the fucking audacity to look me in the eyes and tell me that Mal misses me and that she still cares for me - so that's why P is walking on a very thin line right now, if he says one more fucking thing he's gone 😂

So yeah, that sucked but I still never got emotional! XD I'm so glad that I'm a happy drunk lmao

Also, according to Amalie's brother, I talk way too much

I never thought I was ever gonna hear someone say that I talk too much 😂 I'm that one person people get annoyed at because I never talk

I am both honored and offended at the same time 😂

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I took a well-needed nap today XD 👌

Ive been so tired and nauseous all day long, and my throat has been killing me (probably because I wasn't even talking last night - I was yelling the whole time 😂)

It could've been worse though, I don't actually think I'm thaaat hungover, I just feel kinda off XD

I tried to play a little Persona 5 today but I just couldn't sit and do anything, I just immediately went to my bedroom and napped lol

...is it bad that I'm looking forward to partying again? 😂

That's exactly what I was afraid about though, because people like me who are completely closed up and silent but longing to be able to open up and talk are at a risk of getting addicted to the ability of actually loosening up for once and letting go T_T I felt like a child again, without a care in the world and talkative and giggly like I used to be in front of people ;-; My new goal in life is to become my drunk self while sober lol (but with better judgement and not quite as intense! XD)

I also get a little sad when I hang out with my friends and actually have a good time because I feel like I'm finally where I belong but I'm gonna be moving out in the fall, and who knows how long I'll be alone - maybe I'll be alone the entire time I'm there. Things have just been going really well lately and it's so scary to give it up, but at the same time, I know I have no future here and staying will only make me miserable

So yeah, I'm feeling kinda conflicted but I guess that's only natural XD

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I'm so blown away every time I watch Death Note

WHY IS IT SO BEAUTIFUL?!!?!! The art is making my heart flutter 😂

ITS DRAWN SO UNBELIEVABLY BEAUTIFUL, HOWWW

I feel so creepy staring at Light so intently but damn... Every strand of hair is truly a work of art and some of those psychotic expressions just make me alxioaspwkjx I LOVE IT

I'm listening to World So Cold as I'm writing this and it's so fitting XD

Ok I'm done now lol, I'm sorry that I've published like 9 chapters in the past 24 hours :> I hope you guys drink responsibly and have a great day / night 👌🤣