𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐓𝐇 𝐔𝐍𝐓𝐎𝐋𝐃 || 𝐓𝐊 ✔

[P2] Chapter 55 : Refusal

May 28, 2019. 

♛

Two weeks.

It has been two whole weeks, and all Taehyung was experiencing was panic attacks. There hasn't been a day without him crying and calling someone for help inside his mind, and it was honestly killing him on how mentally weak he had become.

He was currently in the dorm, having a sandwich in the evening, since he didn't have any food for the past four to five hours. Just returning from his studio, he had to energize himself before the group dance practice in the company. No one else was in the dorm with him, to which he was more than thankful for.

He was never the person who he was right now. Taehyung was someone who loved others' company, and loved to be surrounded by people, but now, ever since he had been suffering for whatever reasons, he just hated to see anyone. He was panicking too much for just meeting people, that's all. Of course, the members were an exception, but still there was a small fear inside him, that what would happen if they found out about his anxiety problems.

Moreover, he was missing his family.

Now more than ever, honestly.

Before the teeny bit of sleep he got every night, he would just simply cry looking at the pictures in the phone. Taehyung always called his mom and dad, talked to his siblings, daily, without missing one single day, even after he became an ideal, and now that they totally cut him off for the past weeks, literally killed him.

He wanted to be loved by everyone, to be embraced and appreciated by everyone, but how ironic it was for him, to think that he would be fine showing that he was a queer.

Who knows what lies his parents had been feeding his siblings.

Even in this situation, Taehyung couldn't blame them. They had grown up in the household where love was supposed to be between a man and woman, and nothing more. Of course, they found it disgusting.

At least, I have the hyungs... and Jeonggukie.

He thought suddenly. This had led him to question himself, that when he was gonna tell his boyfriend the truth.

It was all so messed up according to him, and he didn't know how to handle it.

He didn't want to see the betrayed face of the younger one. He couldn't even imagine it. 

Tears were building up in his eyes once again, for the second time of the day, due to his unavoidable overthinking, as he shook his hand immediately.

"Don't cry again," he reminded himself softly, before chewing the remaining bread rapidly, and before the tears could spill, he washed his face.

He quickly picked up the car keys, and the next thing he did was drive to the company, because he knew that he wouldn't be able to cry if he was around people. Taehyung was so frustrated on how much he was shedding tears, that he just let it pent up inside him.

.

.

.

Me
I think I'll see a therapist?
It's only getting worse, and I don't want it to be like that...
What do you think?

It was more than three hours after which they completed their practice, meaning it had been more than three hours since he sent this message to Jimin. Taehyung informed him, while he was still in the car, before he actually entered the company, and he still didn't get any reply in return.

Maybe Jimin hadn't checked his phone.

Moreover, all were staying in the dorm that night, since they had some shooting to do early in the morning. So, let's just say that, the dormitory was louder than usual.