Let it hurt Let it bleed

Chapter 44

 I have one last day, just one more you can do this Sierra. I told myself once I woke up. I took a shower then changed into one of my shirts, a jacket and jeans. I went down to eat breakfast. I wasn't really in the mood to eat a lot so I just got a banana and ate it. I went up to get my stuff and read a book while waiting for my sisters to finish getting ready and my mom to bring us to school. We got in the car and they dropped me off first. "Bye mom Summer and Allegra." I said then went inside our school. I was actually excited for classes because the sooner I'd finish the faster I would get to see him. I walked to the next class and sat on my table. I saw Ramin arrive and he flashed a smile so I did too. I just realized if I try to have fun in class time passes by faster so I tried to enjoy every single class. The second bell rang indicating it was now Lunch time so I went to the cafeteria. I was so excited happy I couldn't wait to get out of this building I talked to Mandy me and ramin sharing glances and giggling like how we were when we first met each other we smiled and talked with our eyes it was a code we invented during this lunch had ended and I had one last period to go which was biology I smiled through It trying to enjoy the lesson as much as possible then the bell rang I raced to my locker got all my stuff and ran to my house I wanted to look nice when he saw me i dropped everything on my floor curled my hair out on some makeup and for the first time in three years I wasn't scared to wear a dress that showed off my figure it was black and short but not too short god I couldn't wait to see him I went downstairs "Sierra what are you wearing" my father questioned "a dress doesn't it look pretty" I said in the best mood possible "change" he simply stated "no daddy this is the first time I'm gonna see ramin in a month and two weeks I want to look nice for him "Okay just don't do anything, remember I can see everything you do I have connections." He said and I nodded my head. "Thank you dad." I said giving him a hug. I went to find my mom and also gave her a hug.

I stepped out of the door and started walking to his house. I tried to speed up but not that much. I reached their house and knocked on their door. "Hi miss Ramin's mom." I said "Oh hi Sierra." She said "Ramin! Someone is looking for you!" She shouted. "Just wait in the living room sweetie, he'll be down soon." She said with a smile then I thanked her. I sat on their sofa patiently waiting for him my leg was bouncing up and down I couldn't contain my excitement to finally get to see him I stood up and double checked my appearance in the mirror making sure everything was perfect for him I checked my hair my makeup to see if it was all blended properly which it was I reapplied my lipgloss and sat back down on the sofa waiting for him what was taking so long was he nervous was he working out was he showering did he want to surprise me I had no idea it had been ten minutes and I was still waiting for him

"Ummm... Ramin's mom?" I asked and she said she's in the kitchen. "Is Ramin okay? He hasn't gone here yet." I said. "You should probably go to his room but please come down as soon as possible" she said. "Okay ma'am! Thank you." I said and went up the stairs. I was in front of his room and knocked on his door. "Ramin?" I called and I heard him curse and a lot of noise like something was falling. "Can I come in?" I asked I wasn't sure if he said yes but I 

just opened the door. "Ram- what the hell?" I said. I didn't want to believe it t that blonde girl was in his room what was she doing here he'd never do this to me not after six weeks I saw her in a corner of the room "Sierra it's not what it looks like" he explained I didn't know what to believe anymore he was stood there and she was stood on the other side of the room and the sheets were all mangled "r ramin W what h happened" I said holding back tears scanning the room for a sign of anything that would give me hope this wasn't happening this wasn't happening to me he wouldn't do this he loves me too much to hurt me "I guess, I'll just leave you two be..." I said and slammed their door. "Sierra, dear what happened?" His mom asked me. "There's someone in his room, I don't know what's happening but I think he doesn't like me anymore." I said as a few tears fell out but I immediately wiped it away. "umm.. please give this to Ramin it's his so he might want it back." I said removing his hoodie that I was just using. "Thank you again ma'am I think I better get going." I said with a smile then went out their door. I started walking slowly extremely slowly slower than a snail I couldn't do it anymore I fell to the floor in the middle of his drive and heard the rain start to pour down on me I didn't care now he was gone I think he was I wasn't sure what I just saw the rain got heavier and harsher it burned my skin I heard footsteps come towards me and someone picked me up and carried me inside I nuzzled into their chest as they took me into the warm room and lay me on the sofa as they covered me with blankets "sie are you their" he asked he asked and I shot up so I was now sat instead of laid down

"No, I'm okay." I said getting off him. "I should better get going, my parents might get mad at me for being late." I said standing up but still not looking him in the eye. "Sie, wait." He called. "I don't think you should umm.. call me that anymore. Even better don't even call me." I said, I don't know how these words came out of my mouth. "Sierra it wasn't-" he said, grabbing my arm which I took back and walked towards their door. "Sierra please don't do this it wasn't what you thought it was'' he said grabbing my arm again which I shrugged off so he pulled me into him by my waist god how I'd been waiting for a moment like this no I was mad at him but he was holding me so gently "explain now" I said this was his only chance "I was getting ready to see you when she came into the house I told my mom not to let her in but she didn't listen she walked straight up to my room I think this was when you came into the house she entered my room and sat on me and laid me down her on top of me so I threw her off me but she wouldn't leave she backed me up against a wall and kissed me trying to make it go further I threw her across the room which made a loud noise and then you opened the door""I don't even know if I can believe anything you say." I said. "Do you trust me?" He asked "If you want me to be honest. No I don't. Too many things already happened to me and you're just here adding to my problems. I thought you were a good guy Ramin, I really did." I said and ran back to my house. I went up to my room and locked my door and window. I closed my curtains and hid in my bathroom. If I wasn't soaked in the rain I would have laid down in my bed.

I heard a knock at my bedroom door I got up and opened it he stepped inside of my room "Ramin look I really don't want to talk to you right now" I told him not noticing I'd put one of his hoodies back on because I was cold "sie please don't do this to us" he said taking my hands ''ram i was looking forward to today so much and now it's just ruined" I told him "no we can fix this" he pleaded "I don't know I missed you so much she shows up there's a loud clatter I can't do it anymore" I shouted not meaning to "Sierra calm down listen to what your saying" he said "Ram I can't I don't know how it's just I saw you then I saw her and I saw the bed and I ha-" he cut me off with a sweet kiss a kiss worth a million apologies a kiss that I've been wanting to feel for quite some time sweet passionate soft it made my knees weak he was strong and vulnerable at the same time I'd missed his lips dearly "Stop. Just stop please. Can you just go you're not making this better." I said touching my lips now I was unsure on how to feel. I said stepping back and started crying in the corner. He tried to hold me "don't touch me." I said softly. "I'm not leaving until we fix this." He said. "If you're not leaving I might as well call my dad." I sobbed "Sie I'm not going until we are fixed" he said one half of me was so angry but the other half just wanted to be back in his arms for his lips to be on mine wanting his hugs and him to swirl me around "Ramin I I I'' I stuttered tears pouring out of my eyes he picked me up and held me "stop it let me go" I struggled at first quietly but then inhaled his scent there was something so calming about that smell no I couldn't he looked at me again and move hair out of my face and kissed me it was soft it was so easy to give in to I rolled on top of him on the bed unsure of what I was doing as I kissed him back Once I realized what I was doing was wrong I got off him and sat on the side of my bed. I can't just go kiss him as if we were okay because we are not. "Sierra, I wouldn't do that to you." He said "You just did" I said "I told you many times, it was all her she's the one who did it to me without asking." He explained and I just shook my head. he got closer to me oh his poor eyes and face I shuffled closer to him and caressed his cheek "angel you know what she's like around me she's a psycho she tried to take everything she wants and if she can't have it she forces them but your the only person for me on this planet" he said I moved my hand to his face again biting my lips leaning in closer so that they met i kissed him softly I was in an internal war with with myself I loved him I missed him I needed him but what if he was lying but what if he was telling the truth my gut told me he was right and she made him kiss her I realised I was still kissing him He smiled at me once we pulled back, I didn't know what to say or do. "You can go now." I said softly. "I told you I'm not going unt-" I nodded my head and tried my best to smile but I was still a bit scared. "We are?" He asked and I nodded my head again. "Then why aren't you happy?" He asked "I don't know I love you but what just happened the passion we have between us what could have happened if I rolled on you again babe it scares me" I said "sie that passion that scares you that your on about that's what love is it's scary exciting new different who knows what will happen" he said I held out my arms for a hug and we held each other "ram don't go please stay" I asked "sie I have to it's late and-" I cut him off "it's late and you fell asleep at mine" I said to him "but your parents" he suggested "they don't need to know ram please please please please please please" I said kissing him in between each please I said "fine but if we get in trouble for this" he started as I pulled him under the sheets with me and nuzzled my head onto his chest.