Let it hurt Let it bleed

Chapter 21

"Uuhmmm I don't know..."  I stuttered. "You don't look okay Sie, what's wrong?" He asked. "No- nothing it's not a problem" I said smiling. I felt my hands sweating and it seemed like it was becoming hot. Why am I scared? I guess it was because the last time I kissed someone was well I don't want to remember when the last time someone kissed me was "Sie are you ok?" he asked "Me? Yeah i I'm fine." I said my palms got sweatier and I rubbed them on my pants "Sie just breathe ok nothings gonna harm you while I'm here." he said as my breathing slowed a bit "There see better." he said "Yeah thanks umm yeah I'm ok to try the kiss can we just go at my pace it might take me awhile to find the confidence?" I asked And he nodded his head. "Did umm my dad tell you what happened?" I asked immediately regretting it. "Tell me what?" He asked "Oh it's just umm a joke he told me when I was younger. I don't know why I asked that." I said and he just smiled at me. I appreciate that he doesn't ask me why I have my panic attacks, he's like giving me privacy.

Okay so I had a full day to prepare for Wednesday it made me anxious I don't know why I didn't want to disappoint him was that the reason I panicked because I didn't want to let him down "I can see you like my sweater then." he said thankfully changing the subject "Yeah it's so fuzzy and warm and it smells like you." I said "It smells like me?" He asked "Yeah it smells like you you know like everyone has a smell." I said "Go on.'' he suggested, why did I even have to mention that? "Okay everyone has a smell and your jumper smells like how you smell." I explained "And how do I smell?" he asked pretty amused of what's coming out of my mouth. "Really really good I can't describe it but you smell like protection and warmth." I said and started blushing "Interesting" he said as I took the last sip of my coffee. "Wanna smell it?" I asked, raising my arm in front of him. " That's how I smell?" He asked "Yep! You smell good right?" I replied and he was shaking his head. "You don't like how you smell?" I asked and he looked at me shyly it was adorable. "Well I do and you can't change my mind." I said. "So let's go?" He asked and I nodded my head.

 We walked back to my house it was so sweet that he walked with me every time and made sure I got home safely "Ramin can I have your sweater?" I asked "But you already have that one." he said "But it's losing its smell." I said he looked at me puzzled "I'll give you this one back I just want your smell is that too much to ask for?" I asked hoping I'd convince him. "Fine, but only because your so adorable that you like my smell." he said taking the sweater off and we switched it I sniffed it and his scent was fresh and new in my mind. "Thank you Ramin." and we reached my door and he knocked on it "Dad hi!"I said

"Hey you two!" He said "Where have you been?" My dad added. "We went to a coffee shop so that he could help me with the Science homework." I said my dad looked at me confused. "Fine, he took me on a date dad." I said awkwardly. "You don't have to lie to me about that. I allowed you two." He said. "I guess I better get going." Ramin said. "Okay bye Ramin!" My dad said while I was waving my hand. "I'll call you later." I mouthed and he nodded his head. I walked in to the house and went upstairs not getting harassed by my sisters this time which was a nice change I got all my homework out and started it I finished in a few hours then went down for dinner where my sisters were.

 "That's a different jumper than you wore this morning." Summer said "yeah but it's still one of his just a more clearer smell" I said they both looked at me funny I brushed it off and ate my dinner then went upstairs the second I got in my room my phone went off. "Heyyyy " I said "Mom did you turn off my phone?" I asked. "Yes I did, because I've been noticing you girls have been sleeping very late." My mom replied. "Oh... okay." I said so I have to explain why I didn't reply to his call tomorrow. "I'm just kidding. I think it's just low battery." My mom said "Oh okay. Good night mom, love you!" I said. "Good night Sierra! I love you too." She replied then went out of my room. I looked for my charger and immediately plugged it in.

Yeah it was on ten percent so I waited for it to charge one it hit fifty percent I rang him back up "Hi Ram." I whispered "Hey Sie!" he said back "Sorry I didn't pick up before my phone was on ten percent and I wanted to actually have a conversation with you without my phone dying in the middle of it." I giggled softy "That's ok you're still on for Wednesday though?" he asked "Yeah just go at my pace please. If that's okay with you." I told him "Sie you know I wouldn't rush you into anything too quickly." he calmly spoke back "Yeah I know." I sighed "Do you want to go from school to mine or will you need to change first?" he asked "School to yours should be fine I think just remember the new curfew I have with you is eleven not twelve." I whispered "Got it Sie it's getting late you should probably go to sleep now." he said as I let a yawn out "Yeah probably ok then night Ramin you're really great." I told him "And your so cute now go to sleep smell my sweater if that helps you night Sie." and he hung up the phone and I slept.