Let it hurt Let it bleed

Chapter 35

The next morning I was woken up by my two sisters pounding on the door. "What do you want?" I asked, trying to cover my ears with one of my pillows. "Mom sent me to wake you up because it's already afternoon." Allegra said. "It's afternoon already?" I asked and let out a yawn and went to the door and opened it. "What time did you sleep last night?" Summer asked. "I don't know, I think it's very late if it made me wake up in the afternoon." I said. "Come down, so that we can all eat lunch and so that you can eat brunch." Allegra said, pulling my arm. "Okay, okay I'm coming!" I said then we closed the door. 

I went downstairs to see my brunch which was a smoothie bowl I loved them so much they were so refreshing I ate it rather quickly and everyone was discussing what they would do today then my phone rang and everyone looked at me. I had finished brunch "is it ok if I take this upstairs" I said about the phone call and my parents nodded I ran up to my room and locked the door my sisters were too busy eating but it was just incase "good morning birthday boy" I said teasing him "afternoon sie what happened I thought you were coming round at twelve?" He said "I kinda woke up at twelve because you decided to visit me last night I'll be round by two tho it shouldn't take long" I blushed at the thought of what could have happened and the kiss unlike any other I had experienced I truly loved him "ok just try get hear before all the cake is gone" he laughed "I'll try ok if you want me round earlier your gonna have to let me go now so I can get ready" I told him "ok love you sie" he said "love you"

We were already 8 months into our relationship but hearing him say that still makes my heart flutter. I'm not gonna lie I was feeling a bit lazy to wear something too nice so I just wore something comfortable. I changed into jeans, a shirt and one of Ramin's jumpers. I tied my hair in a ponytail and packed my bag with some essentials. Once I was sure I was ready I went down to say goodbye to everyone since they already knew my plans for the day. As soon as I got out Ramin was already outside my door. "What are you doing here? I thought I'd meet you in your house." I said slowly walking towards him. "I just wanted to see you already." He said then gave me a hug which made me feel safe and warm. "You still have that?" He asked pointing at the first jumper he let me borrow. "Yep!" I said popping the p. "No wonder I couldn't find it in my closet." He said and we both laughed. "About last night..." he said looking at the floor. "It's okay Ramin." I said putting my hand on his shoulder. he raised his head and looked into my eyes ''it's okay I I think I want it to happen" I stuttered what was I saying that wasn't me speaking or was it yeah I think that was me but a side to me I hadn't met yet "what?" He questioned as we started walking hand in hand to his house "I I I t think I want y you in t that w way" I said holding onto his hand "Sierra you forget yourself" he said "no I don't I I W want t this" I said as we approached the doors of his house I was so confused I loved him and we were both allowed to do it by law "Sie I'm gonna get you some cookies just wait here" he said as I sat down in the living room was today gonna be the day when I lost... it all of a sudden I felt giggly and bubbly what was happening to me why wasn't I scared

It was probably because I did not get enough sleep. I think I'm delusional but nobody needs to know that. I was starting to think was this too early to do it? I mean I think we are mature enough but is 8 months enough to know you're ready? I didn't really answer my questions because every time it pops in my head I start giggling. Was this bad?

 I asked myself but didn't bother to reply. "Here you go!" Ramin said, giving me a cookie. "You have got to teach me how to make these" I said eating it they always tasted absolutely delicious and amazing I wasn't sure how but it just made me love him even more "ram why did you come see me last night it was amazing I just want to know why" I asked nibbling on the cookie "well the second the clock hit twelve I opened the note you wrote to me and read it it was so beautiful and I just wanted to show you how much you mean to me" he said it made my heart melt he came all that way because of a silly little love letter I wrote him how cute "that is quite possibly the most adorable thing you have ever done" I said to him kissing his cheek we both sat eating our cookies and I'd giggle and blush at some points just thinking about him and if we did decide that now was the right time but that made me giggle even more was something wrong with me four months ago I'd be terrified to go through with this but now I was excited and wanting I didn't understand it "sie why do you keep giggling?"

"I don't know" I replied and he looked like he didn't believe me. "Tell me Sierra, it's my birthday." He said and I blushed with the thought passing through my mind. "You're so handsome.." I said and blushed even more. "That's all?" He asked and I nodded my head. "Wasn't that enough?" I asked then giggled again. "Sierra, is there something that you're not telling me?" He asked I couldn't tell him could I? But the more I thought about it the more I giggled and blushed the more I thought about it the less scared I got the more I thought about it the more I wanted it to happen "I'm just really excited for your birthday that's all" I said which was a good cover up I think "hmmm right okay" he stood up "where are you going?" I asked "to the kitchen I need some water" he walked to the kitchen and I followed him resting my hands on his biceps as he got the water and drank it he moved which made my hand hit the bottom of the glass and the water got all over his shirt and a feeling built up in me "I'm so sorry ram" I apologised "It's okay, I'll just go get a shirt in my room." He said about to go up the stairs but I grabbed his hand. "You don't have to if you don't want to." I said. 

"What did you say?" He said sounding very interested. "Umm.. you don't need to get a shirt.." I said then started to blush "But baby this one is soaked look at it" he said and all I could focus on was how the shirt was white so I could see his abs through it "let me help you clean it up" I said pulling my sleeve over my hand and trying to dry the water off him I slowed down realising what I was doing "you know what it might be better if you just take it off the dryer will dry it faster than I will" I said and blushed he raised the shirt over his head and my breath stopped in my throat he was fit like six pack kind of hot I didn't recognise how toned he was until now "is something bothering you Sierra" he asked "Nope! Don't worry." I said facing away from him so that I won't seem weird. Then again I was the one who suggested it. "Are you sure?" He asked, placing a finger under my chin and lightly moving it so that I was facing him. "This isn't bothering you is it?" He said looking down at his body. "N- n not at all." I stuttered and went back to his sofa.

He knew how to get to me.He almost killed me by doing that he was so attractive and he was mine and we were alone because his parents had gone out for the day my breathing got faster thinking about what happened but not in a panicked way it was different I couldn't explain it was it love? could someone breathe love? did that even make any sense whatsoever ?

"sie I need some help which setting do I put the dryer on?" He asked "I'm coming" I said walking back to the laundry room and over to where he was still shirtless I locked eyes with his abs and had to rip my eyes off them to look at him and I'd completely forgotten the question "what did you ask again?" I said "which setting do I put this on to get my shirt dry?""You can be stupid sometimes." I said pointing to the drying button of the machine. "Oh right, thank you." He said with a smile.

 I felt like I was gonna die.

 "No problem." I said and went back to their sofa. I started to wonder if he knew what he was doing to me. "Sie." I heard him call. "Yeah?" I said looking behind me to see him still shirtless but with a smug look on his face. "And what do you want now?" I asked. "I was wondering if you wanted a smoothie?" he asked oh my god I was this close to breaking this close "sh sure what kind do you have" I asked once again following him to the kitchen "well there are some bananas and strawberries and raspberries so a banana strawberry raspberry smoothie for your energy you'll need it" he whispered the last bit and my back got all goosebumpy but in a strange nice way I put all the fruit into the blender and he got his shirt and put it back in which made me kinda sad.

 The smoothie had finished blending and I poured it into two cups and handed one to him he drank half of it then 'spilt' some on the shirt we had just dried "you really need to be more careful with your drinks" I said "I could say the exact same thing to you" he said and I remembered yesterday night and blushed so once again he was shirtless I was about to lose it "sie you look sad come here" he said I put my smoothie down and he pulled my into a hug by my waist pushing his stomach on to mine

Just breathe.