Let it hurt Let it bleed

Chapter 62

The next morning I woke up being called by my mom who was downstairs. I changed to shorts and a shirt with sleeves. I went down to see my family all gathered. Once I arrived in the dining area they all gasped. "Sierra what happened to your throat?" Allegra asked "my throat?" I asked "look at it!" Summer said and I looked down to see that it was purple. I looked at my dad who told me to be quiet. "What happened?" Allegra asked again. "Dad did it last night." I said. "She's probably just doing it for attention." My dad said "Yeah of course, I'd choke myself to get attention. Seems like something Sierra would do." I said "Well Allegra dad does have a point" summer added "I guess you're right she'd do anything for a bit of attention" Allegra spoke back to summer "see girls what did I tell you,you can never trust her" he said and hugged them then came up to me and slapped me in the face which summer and Allegra laughed at in a split second they had flipped their personalities "what a slut" I heard summer say under her breath "yeah I'm surprised if she didn't let ramin in her room and they went at it" Allegra said and the both looked at me disgusted all I did was stand their and take it I got no food and went straight back upstairs where I belonged I really wanted to pack my bags and leave but where would I go. I stayed in my room and stared at the wall thinking of what I could do. It's either I run away or go cut myself until I die. It wasn't quite a hard decision. I wanted to do both. But if I run away my dad would find me and beat me up but if I lock myself in my room and cut in the restroom. Maybe nobody would care since they all think I'm just crying in my room. then I thought of my mom and how proud she was of me and how I didn't want to slip up and let her down I didn't want to never see Ramin again even though he'd be better off without me I still loved him and I knew he loved me so much what was I to do apart from cry until I couldn't cry anymore cry until the pain went away or until I passed out or something.

I wanted to fall asleep and wake up and find out it was all a bad dream. I ended up falling asleep for the whole day. I checked the time on my clock to see that it was already 6 o clock. I got out of my bed to see a letter slipped under my door. It said it was from my mom so I assumed it was from Ramin. I opened it and it said. 'Hi Sie, I heard from your mom what you have been doing to yourself. Please don't do anything to yourself. If you want to do it just think of me. I will never stop loving you. I will find anyway to make you feel better and to see you. I miss you so damn much and I love you so much. I hope you think of me and your mom when you want to do something love Ramin'I didn't know what to say but I had to stop he said he'd never stop loving me what should I write back he always knew the right thing to say 'ram it's me sie I'm so sorry it's just my dad and sisters their horrible to my me my sisters think I'm a slut and whore and my dad physically abuses me the only one I can trust in my house is my mom I miss you so damn much baby and I'll try my best to stop for you and mom I'll try I promise you it's a few days until I might get to see you again I'm so happy I might be getting my hopes up but I love you and miss you so much love your sie x' I wrote back and sealed the envelope and put it in the folder I called my mom and slipped it out of the door. "Mom, here are the things I need for my project." I said and she understood. She told my dad she needed to go buy essentials and buy some food that we need. Then she went to deliver the messages. She came back about an hour after with bags in her hand and the folder. She slipped the folder under my door with a bag of some of the things I might need like food and water and a few other things she thought I might need. "Thank you mom!" I said "No problem honey." She said and went back to whatever she needed to do. I ripped out the envelope and read his letter. 'Baby I'm going crazy over here without you I just wanna hug you and hold you and kiss you and never let you go I'm so sorry I'm not there to protect you from your sisters words and your dad I'm so sorry baby I really hope we can celebrate our year anniversary together it would mean the world to me and probably to you as well darling I love you so so so much never forget my love for you is stronger than anything in this world baby I miss you and I'm trying to get you to come back to me I can't believe it's been nine weeks but we could meet in two days keep that positive spirit in you I can already see your beautiful smile love you sie -ramin' it read I was going to try my best to let him in my room with my family away. I could actually pack my bags and stay with him for one night and go back home. Anything we do has too many risks. I wanted him to stay and cuddle with me. But if he comes then he might let me move away to another country so that I won't see him. Or worse he would kill me.