Let it hurt Let it bleed

Chapter 41

I got to school feeling more lifeless than ever this was worse than a breakup this was torcher of the soul I walked to my first class where I was sat all the way in the back corner by myself on my own row he walked into the room and sat at the front we locked eyes for a second but I welled up and tears started falling from my eyes I did nothing except cry and the second class was no better than the first.

 The next class was Musical theatre where we had to switch partners. I was lucky enough that my parents asked if someone I knew could be my partner so Hadley transferred in our class and became my partner. "Hi Hadley." I said softly. "Hello Sierra, I heard. and I'm so sorry." He said "it's okay." I replied. I got really annoyed when I looked back and saw Ramin's partner. It was that stupid blondie I knew we both hated her it was just hard watching them ramin and I were too depressed to sing and Hadley noticed "Sierra" he said and I gave him a hug "Hadley life is so cruel why does this always happen" I cryed to him looking ramin in the eyes ours both watering up I cryed all the way through that lesson too we couldn't even speak in classes it was like I had lost a part of me but I guess we still had our locker Well since we couldn't be together I have lunch with Mandy and he has his lunch with Hadley. I basically told Mandy what happened last night. Then we caught up on what we missed in each other's life. Which was actually quite fun. I caught Ramin glancing at me and smiling from time to time. Maybe happy to see that I'm smiling. 

The afternoon classes were Physics and Geometry which wasn't better than the morning classes. In short what would happen was I'd sit right at the back and he'd sit right at the front We'd share a glance and I'd cry through the whole lesson that's what physics and geometry were like it was a pain I wasn't used to feeling the classes ended and I started walking to our locker to put my stuff in when I opened it a small envelope fell out I picked it up off the floor and shoved it in my pocket I'd read it when I got home I tidied my half and left his how it was quickly smelling his jumper he shoved in their and then waking out to my moms car

"Hey Sierra." My mom said "Hi mom, I'm okay." I said and we drove home. I went directly to my room and placed the letter on top of my bedside table to read it later. I finished some homework and studied a bit then went down to eat dinner. Which was just heated up food from last night. I ate quickly and went back to my room. I went straight to my bedside table and carefully opened the letter and saw his handwriting it read 'angel I know you are struggling and believe me so am I I just wanted to tell you that every day I will leave you one of these and a jumper or t shirt of mine for you to remember me by I love you with all my heart baby love from your ramin' I stopped reading and burst out into tears I missed him so much it had only been a day but it was the longest day of my life I had to write something back I had to so I did I put it in my bag for Tomorrow yet another pain filled day and cried myself to sleep thinking of the phone call I missed from him tonight

The day was basically the same. I just had something to look forward to, which was his letter and whatever he wants me to borrow from him which I give back the next day. I got home from another hard day at school did homework, studied, ate and took a shower. I read his letter which was very sweet. Then I realized I wanted him to remember me too. I brainstormed for ideas on what I can give him. I got out my bracelet maker and was going to make him a black bracelet now I was deciding what word I should put on his bracelet. After a good half an hour of contemplating I decided to go with sie it was his first nickname for me and held a special place in my heart I braided the letters into the bracelet and finished it putting it in my bag and the next morning I dropped it there.

 6 weeks had passed and we still couldn't have contact I was longing for his hugs and sweet kisses I was sick of crying myself to sleep every single night I wanted to hold him I wanted him to hold me he hadn't spoken to me in six weeks was a long time I thought waking out of school the note in my pocket I really hoped he got the bracelet I got into the car and we set off him I went upstairs and opened the new letter 'sie baby I miss you so much six weeks without your kisses your voice your touch is killing me I know I'm risking everything by doing this but stay awake I want to see you at twelve tonight I don't care I can't take another day apart from you keep your window open love your ramin' my heart jumped for joy when I read it

I fell asleep with the cool breeze from my window. I didn't want to wait so I just fell asleep knowing that he would just wake me up. Before I slept I made sure I locked my door. I flinched when I felt someone slowly touch my arm. "Hey Sie." He said I looked at his hand to see him wearing the bracelet I got him. I hugged him so tight, I missed him soo much. All of these emotions overwhelmed me I missed him so much I never wanted to let go again "ram your here your hugging me your talking I missed you I didn't sleep I hate school because I can't see you anymore your so sweet I kept all the letters you wrote me I I love you so much" I said standing and Hugging him tighter it felt good to be back in his arms his muscles had gotten bigger as well "darling I love you so much I'm so happy your back with me I missed your touch your scent your hair everything about you sie I love you don't ever forget that beautiful'' he whispered into my ear I wrapped my hands around his neck playing with his black hair that I missed dearly I knew I was breaking a lot of rules by now. He lightly kissed me at first then it became very passionate but we knew better than to go farther. We pulled away and smiled at each other. "Sierra!" I heard my dad call. "Shoot! Go in my closet." I told him and he ran and hid there. 

I went under my blankets and pretended to be asleep. He opened the door and turned off the lights. When I was sure he was gone I went to my closet and opened it. "Sorry about that." I whispered and he smiled. "But I think you should get going, because I don't want to get in more trouble." I said "But it feels good to be in trouble " he said "I know I know but if they catch us he'll brick my window or something" I said giggling softly and I held his hand as we walked to the window he rounded my waist "I love you" he said before pulling me into a passionate kiss which I completely succumbed to and we pulled apart he slipped out the window "I love you too" I said as I watched him leave in the dark night sky I didn't want him to go but it was so nice feeling his touch voice and lips again "Sierra" my dad called out shoot I closed the window turned the lights off and crawled under the sheets and made it look like I was sleeping again so he left me alone my lips tingled with the feeling of his on mine as I fell asleep for the first time in six weeks.