Let it hurt Let it bleed

Chapter 71

The next morning I felt him jump then I realized we weren't really okay yet.. "oh yeah, I'm sorry." I said then started walking back to the guest room. Sometimes my brain doesn't think right. It always assumes that everything I do is okay. He didn't stop me from leaving so he probably is mad at me. I think I also made it worse by sleeping beside him. I took the sheets up to the guest room and made the bed back up to how it was then went downstairs I made us a smoothie and handed it to him "ram I didn't do something wrong did I ?" I asked.

 I was so worried about him he hasn't talked or said a word to me since yesterday evening it made me think of the things I've done "it was because I didn't notice you whilst reading wasn't it oh ram I'm so sorry I just got so caught up in the book it took me away from reality I should have been paying more attention to you" I said and he finally opened his mouth to say something "sie I'm not mad at you." He said "What? Then why were you ignoring me yesterday?" I asked him and he started looking nervous. "Because I missed you?" He said "that's a reason to ignore someone? I thought I did something bad because you wouldn't talk to me, you would just listen but not reply." I said I didn't know whether to be relieved or mad at him. "I know I just missed the sound of your voice when you were singing yesterday it was so beautiful I got hypnotised by it and all I heard was you singing beautifully" he said and I was definitely relieved not mad I was also blushing loads " well that clears that up" I said not in a panic anymore "so about this game?" He continued so he wanted to keep playing well two could work at that "what game?" I said "we both know the game sie" he said and then walked off with a smirk.

 What was he planning now?

"I don't wanna play the game Ramin!" I said but he didn't hear it. I guess we will see how this day goes. I checked the time and it was now 10 and we basically just woke up so I don't think we will be eating lunch yet. This will be a very interesting day. I took a shower and got changed into my yoga pants and the matching top for it which revealed some of my stomach but not really I brushed my hair and it had gotten longer but I loved it I put ramins promise ring back on because I didn't want to loose it in the shower and make him upset I applied light makeup and went downstairs "Hey Sie!" He said as I was walking towards the living room. "Hi," I replied sitting beside him.

 "What have you been up to." I asked him. "Nothing really." He replied "Is that even true?" I asked him and he just shrugged which told me that he was definitely up to something but he wasn't going to tell me what dam it "ram your not lying to me are you"I whispered into his ear caressing his face I had nothing else better to do than try have some fun with him "nope I'm not I haven't really done anything yet" he said completely calm "okay just checking" I said impressed he hadn't even shivered at my whisper Now I'm becoming suspicious, why isn't he doing anything like yesterday. I really think he's planning something. I guess I'll just wait and see. "So what do we do now?" I asked him "How about you think of it?" He said. "I asked you first, so you think while I overthink about things."

 "No that's not how it works" he said "but ramin if I think about it the more tempted I'll get and I don't wanna lose" I said which made him laugh "well you should learn how to control your self sie" he said close so I could feel his breath on my face he leant away and went to go do something he almost floored me by that one tiny action it's gotten even worse than yesterday thinking about how much he changed physically and why wasn't he teasing oh my god he was he was but in a different way that was sneaky I liked it he can be smart when he really wants to be I feel like I would die if I keep waiting. But I will be strong. I won't let him win. He is the one who changed a lot so he's more tempting. Me I have changed, I got thinner and paler. Why because they didn't let me eat or I didn't want to eat and I can't go out of the house. One of the reasons I'm glad that I left. I really needed to find things to distract myself if I wanted to win. My only distractions here are my phone and the book.

 This is gonna be way harder than I thought. I could do some more yoga today though so I started my practice and went through all the positions I wasn't as strong as I used to be but that was understandable I went to go get a glass of water and I drank it what else could I do I checked my phone for the millionth time today and I had just finished the book my mom gave me it was really beautiful about rediscovering yourself and connecting with the things you have around you an hour had passed but I was still so tempted he was fitter and had so much more on him then he did before so to distract myself I went to get some sunlight in the back garden.

I started skipping around and doing cartwheels. I was having fun. My mind was clear. I was being fully present with nature. I went under one of the trees and started meditating. It felt really good. I was observing my surroundings. I saw trees and flowers everywhere. I leaned on the tree and started taking deep breaths. then I wrapped my arms around it I didn't know how good it actually felt to hug a tree it was refreshing to the soul these have been here for so many years and they're so wise and rooted I did some more cartwheels because why the heck not then I went back inside I checked the time two hours wow I guess you do lose yourself to nature when you surrender but I was all dirty so I decided to take a shower and change I went into the guest room and saw something on my bed.

 "when your done change into this" the note said what was this I asked myself as I picked it up I opened the box to see a dress. Oh no, what is it this time? It was a maroon dress with a short sleeve top and a flowy skirt that reached the bottom of my knees. He really has a plan doesn't he. I double checked the box and saw another note which said. 'I assume you're already dressed, go to the living room' I put the note back inside the box. I wore my black flats because I didn't want to wear heels. I was walking down the stairs and saw Him stood their but he was dressed normally why was I the one who had to put fancy stuff on it was so much effort "sie you look beautiful" he said looking at me all of me not just my face "thank you" I said as he came over "but this dress it's a little bit too long for my taste" and he perfectly removed the flowy skirt which revealed a more skin tight one but it only just covered my but "much better" he said tossing the piece of fabric to the side

"But I'd rather keep it on." I said, I knew I had to win this war so I bent forward to get it back and fix it around my waist. "Why?" He asked "because it becomes too short and I'm more comfortable when it's long." I said then his eyes opened wide which made me laugh. "I didn't mean it that way, stupid." I said "Then what did you mean?" He asked. "My skirt dress thingy." I said rolling my eyes. I tried to fix it back onto my dress but it simply wouldn't stay on it was like it was meant to be ripped away like it wasn't a part of the original dress at all so so far he was winning but that had to change "Ramin what are we doing" I asked he to my hand and lead me to a place which seemed familiar he turned the lights on but they were dimmed and we were in the library "And why are we here?" I asked him "I don't know, why do you think?" He asked "I also don't know but I really wanna change this dress is getting pretty uncomfortable." I said "no." He said "but every step I take it goes higher, just at least let me get something to put on top of it." I begged. "Fine, but be quick." He whispered gosh he can't win.

 I rushed to my room trying to find a skirt to put over it but the only one that was their was a short red one but at least it didn't rise and it stayed in the same space when I walked I went downstairs all the way back to the library "ram I'm back what did you want from me" I said acting clueless facing him " sie your shoulders they look so claustrophobic" he said "they feel fine" I told him as he came closer "well let's just see what happens if I do this" he spoke seductively into my ear and he tore the sleeves off the dress again they came off so perfectly like they were an extra costume piece or something "It's so hot might as well take everything off." I joked but he took it seriously and started helping me. "I was joking, or was I?" I asked him placing my hand on his chest and pushed him to the wall.

 After that I started to walk away from him and think of a way to win.