Let it hurt Let it bleed

Chapter 82

We stayed like that for a while. "Sie, you should eat now. I'm sure it will make you feel better." He said "Okay" I replied and he got the tray. I ate the oatmeal and the fruits he placed with it. "I feel a bit better." I said once I finished eating. "That's good." He said and smiled at me. 

"Ram I love you" I said and smiled at him "I love you too sie" he said and kissed my cheek "no like I really really love you" I said to him and he just smiled and held me tighter "your looking a little better some colours returned to your cheeks" he told me pinching them making me giggle a little "I'll be back." He said and brought the tray downstairs. When he came back up he had two water bottles with him. He opened one and gave it to me. "Thank you!" I said after I took a sip. "You're welcome, are you feeling a bit better?" He asked "Kinda but my head and body still hurt." I explained. "Well we know why your body hurts it's still marked by me" he laughed which made me laugh a little "but your head it might just be a little migraine" he said and I agreed because the light hurt and all I wanted to do was to go to sleep in the darkness and that really wasn't like me

"You should go and do something because I'd probably just be laying in the bed for the rest of the day." I said "I can stay with you." He said "No no you don't need to waste your day with me I can take care of myself." I said. "That means I'm definitely staying with you now" he said getting under sheets and pulling me close to him "you really don't have to do this" I said "I know but I want to so I am"he told me "but you might get sick" I said "that doesn't matter as long as your comfy and feel like you can sleep now that's all and as long as you wake up feeling even the tiniest bit better that's all I need from you" he told me "But I have to force you out of this room from time to time." I said "Fine!" He replied. "What can we do in a bed that doesn't involve moving because I think you'll get bored if I just sleep." I said "We can-" I knew what he was suggesting. "Isn't my body enough proof to show you that I'm in pain?" I asked him but he just laughed. "I was just gonna say kiss god Sierra" he said and laughed "yeah sure because when you give me that look it always means kiss doesn't it" I said "sometimes it starts with a kiss and then well you get really impatient"he said and I rolled my eyes "just let me sleep please" I said and laid my head back on his chest where it fit perfectly "You're the one who gets impatient not me." I said "Yeah right he replied and I fell asleep after a while. I woke up a few hours later not really feeling better. I looked up to see that he was still asleep so I just stayed in place. I got bored really quickly so I turned to him and kissed his nose "ram I feel a bit better now" I said as he woke up "did I fall asleep with you" he asked and I nodded my head "baby when did you say you wanted the wedding again just so I can make some phone calls" he told me hmmm I wasn't sure I wanted to get married to him as soon as possible yet I wanted to wait a while what could I say "in a year or so.. I really want to marry you earlier but I think I'm too young. and I don't want my sisters to find another way to get mad at me." I said "It's okay, I understand why you're doing that." He replied. "What month are we in again? I'm sorry I just get so confused now." I said

"November honey" he said wow November already "oh I've always dreamed of a winter wedding with snow but then a spring wedding is so pretty with all the flowers coming into bloom and all new life and energy surrounding us I'm not sure ram it's just so difficult I can't decide" I said "well I'll give you some time to think about it" he said which I was grateful for "Well since it's November it's only 6 months until my birthday so we only have a year and a half or 18 months left to wait." I said "It's close, we'd have more than enough time to plan then." He said and I started getting excited. "Sooo this means that..." I asked "this means my darling Sierra that if you want we will get married on your birthday" he said "really you'd do that for me" I said all the excitement urging out of my body I couldn't wait "yes I would you look a lot better since we started talking" he said

I stood up and pulled a muscle. "Gosh!" I said and fell back to the bed. "What happened!" He asked "I think I moved too fast." I said while waiting for a while then slowly standing up. "Don't help me I got this" I said walking around the room if you could even call it a walk but I was moving. That was a good sign I walked or moved to the restroom but when I got there I hit the counter and it made a very loud sound. "I'm okay!" I shouted and I heard Ramin laugh after I said that. I was holding the counter for balance. I went back to the room and started walking like I was drunk. "It's so hard to keep balance when you can't really stand up straight" I said falling down on the bed "carry me" i asked "what about being an independent woman and not needing my help" he teased "just carry me I'm so thirsty I need some water or something" I said "Here have my water I didn't drink from it yet." He said and gave me his water bottle. "Thank you!" I said then drank from his water bottle. "Aren't you thirsty? Nevermind that sounds so wrong." I said "I can just get another one when I need it." He replied "Here have my water. I didn't drink from it yet." He said and gave me his water bottle. "Thank you!" I said then drank from his water bottle. "Aren't you thirsty? Nevermind that sounds so wrong." I said "I can just get another one when I need it." He replied And all that played on my mind that day were three things one of my dad finds out he will definitely hurt me in some way two how I was engaged to the best man on the whole planet who cares for me and three my wedding It all became too much I don't know why I was feeling pressured now. Ramin went down to finish something so basically I was just alone in the room. I wanted to scream until all the pain would go away. I needed to find another way to relieve the pain but I didn't know how. Their was another way but I didn't want to disappoint him but I guess one wouldn't hurt him right I mean it was just for today and I wouldn't do it again it was just so painful and I couldn't take it anymore as I walked or hobbled to the bathroom I looked around the bathroom looking for something I can use for what I wanted to do.

 I made sure I locked the door before I did anything just to make sure he won't walk in on me and talk me out of it.