Let it hurt Let it bleed

Chapter 36

this chapter contains sexual content if you dont like this sort of thing skip the chapter 

I felt like I could just pass out. "You're mean." I said trying to push him away but that just made him pull me even closer. "What did I do to you?" He asked. "Nothing really." I said sarcastically and rolled my eyes. I looked back up at him to see him starting to lean closer to me. I used this as an opportunity to get my revenge. Once he was very close I used all my strength to get out of his grip and ran all the way to their living room. "HA!" I said then I saw him slowly walking towards me. oh god was I blushing? I felt on fire they way he slightly swayed his hips and how his hair was perfect not messy and not too neat "what was that all about"he said picking me up and pulling me even closer to him closer than we should ever be I felt my breathing get heavy and hot I didn't know what was happening to me "hmmm" I said in a low voice that I'd never used before that I didn't know even existed until now my heart was beating fast with excitement as he pulled me even closer and whispered into my ear "so what do we do now" and kissed behind my ear and then all around my ear until pulling away and waiting for my answer "I ii I don't know.." I stuttered starting to get nervous. I was so excited earlier why did that have to change. "You really don't know." He said as he placed me down and I started shaking. I wanted to so badly now but I didn't know how to say it or how to react.

what was I supposed to do or say I was full of want and excitement but I didn't know how to tell him that I wanted him it just wasn't that simple I guess I could hint a little bit "umm ram can we take this up there" I said pointing up stairs literally praying that he got the hint "and can you make sure it's safe by protection" I asked he took my hand and lead me up to his bedroom.

 He had a double bed and a wardrobe and a guitar in his guitar stand and a tv on some draws the blind was shut thank god and he just check for protection which he had which was good and then he he Umm locked the door and pushed me against a wall he caressed my face lovingly .

"Your so gorgeous Sie you know that" he told me "Remind me why you have protection in your drawer?" I asked him. "Ummm... just in case?" He said. "...interesting," I said. "Are you sure about this?" He asked and I reluctantly nodded my head. He slowly caressed my face and leaned in to kiss me. This was sort of different to our usual kisses because we knew that something was coming next.

 When he kissed me fireworks went off in my head and then it hit me that this was actually going to happen I was gonna lose my virginity to the best guy in the whole world I was so excited that I flipped us so the I was the one pinning him against the wall kissing him harder and harder I wanted no I needed him were we supposed to talk during this I'd never done it before so I wasn't sure how it was supposed to work we pulled apart from the kiss breathless and I ran my hands through his hair staring into his eyes his gorgeous eyes I bit my lip as he wrapped my legs around his waist. He seemed to know what he was doing. He has probably done it before though. He turned us around and pushed me to the wall and kissed me with more force. My hands were getting tangled in his hair which also pulled him closer to me.

 The kisses were good like really good like unusually good then something happened he was kissing me and he slipped his tongue into my mouth we never kissed with that before but as it went around my mouth it felt good really good it was almost better than great I tried to do the same thing both of them battling for dominance over each other but he won I kept griping on his head pulling it closer I wanted him so badly I felt the need to tell him but what would it do make this awkward or better I couldn't see how it could get better and we were only kissing I pulled away and whispered breathlessly "ram I want you"

He smirked which kinda scared me because he doesn't do that often. He pulled me from the wall and made his way to the bed where he gently placed me. My breathing was getting heavier. I've never done this before so I did not know what to expect. He slowly crawled to the bed which made my heartbeat go faster. and he was already half naked witch made the beating of my heart grow erratically as he kissed me again but it was one of those soft ones that had more effect that the passionate ones we shared he kissed me again and again he made his way around my face kissing gently and softly on my cheeks forehead jawline then he got to my neck and the kisses turned from soft to hard and passionate he kissed a spot then licked it then carefully bit it which made me release a noise he kept doing this all around my neck and made his way back up to my lips.

 He brushed a loose hair behind my ear and sat me up. He helped me remove the jumper and threw it aside but I still had a shirt under. Which made him quite annoyed but he had to live with it. He moved his hands to my back and placed it inside my shirt. I did not really know why so I just enjoyed the warmth of his hands his hands moving up and down my back sent shivers down my spine he brought them out and gently pushed me back onto the bed slowly lifting my t-shirt up and kissing the newly revealed skin eventually he got the shirt off me and went back to kissing my stomach doing the same thing he did to my neck to my stomach it made me whimper which made him smirk and I enjoyed the feeling of his lips on skin that he hadn't touched bare before it was new and exciting well so was this for me anyways

He then wrapped my legs around his waist and went in for a kiss. Once we pulled away from each other he looked straight into my eyes which kind of scared me. "Are you okay?" I whispered and he nodded his head. He flipped us which means I was on top. I didn't really know what to do so I kissed him with my hands on his chest. I tried to remember what he did to me but it all slipped my mind I just moved my hands around his chest circling his abs once in a while I got the courage to start kissing his neck and his collarbone sucking on the skin when I felt like it .Was I even doing this right? I moved  to his chest and I kissed all the un-kissed skin I hadn't seen yet when it came it his abs though I knew exactly what I wanted and was going to do I started by slowly tracing it with my finger. Then started using my lips instead of my fingers. I looked at him cluelessly. I knew what I wanted to do but I did not really know how I was supposed to do it. I decided not to overthink it and just do it. I started kissing his abs softly at first. I worked my way kissing softly from the top of his abs to the bottom back up to the top then I kissed his abs with more passion using my tongue to circle them which made him groan I pulled myself back up to to him and kissed him back on the lips then went back down again but I still didn't want to come across as to bold how could I get them off discreetly I had an idea, I just had to hope he wouldn't notice. I innocently laid on his chest for a while when I thought he wouldn't notice I slowly tried to push them off him using my feet. I heard him let out a laugh so I looked at him. "You should have just told me." He said and I started blushing. He gently got me off him and started removing his jeans.

They fell to the floor and my breath got heavier again I could see his v line it was so carved I pushed him back on the bed and kissed the line like a hungry monster but I still had to get his boxers off can I just ask him I moved up on him "Babe can you get the umm you know out the draw" I asked we broke for a brief moment as he put it on and then returned to our position I went back to his stomach kissing and working my way down I avoided the area because I was scared I'd be bad so I decided to kiss his thighs which were also toned he was so attractive I was dying He pulled me up to his level. "That's enough time for you." He said and flipped us out of a sudden. Now I was scared. He caressed my cheek for a while then gave me a soft but long kiss. When we pulled back he had a smile on his face. I wrapped my arms around his neck. "I'm scared." I whispered. "Don't worry Sie, I'm here." He said then kissed my forehead. he didn't do the thing I was expecting him to do well he did sort of he kissed down my stomach to the top of my jeans and slowly undid them pulling them down then he kissed all the way up my legs to my underwear that were then removed. I immediately shut my legs "sie your beautiful it's ok" he said as he spread them open kissing the inside of my thighs where he kissed I threw my head back and clung onto his hair releasing moans of all different pitches he kissed harder and it made me moan his name that was enough I couldn't take it anymore I needed him now "Ram...please." I begged which made him smirk. He positioned himself properly and looked me in the eye. He seemed to have noticed the nervousness in my eyes because he got my hand and kissed it. That's when I realised he didn't let go of my hand.

He moved slowly at first so I'd get used to the feeling and after a while we were exhausted . I looked to my side and we were both out of breath and then we both laughed. It was cute and he he just held me I loved being in his arms I felt safe and loved and protect he kissed my forehead and my cheeks and it felt sweet he was so romantic and he was also really really good but I have no one else to compare him with (unlike him who's probably slept with one or two other  girls)which added another pro to why I loved him he cradled me and kissed me which he had to stop doing if he wanted me to breathe again.