SKZ - oneshots (completed)

Hyunsung

⌦ 𝐻𝑦𝑢𝑛𝑠𝑢𝑛𝑔
⌦ 𝑡𝑤𝑠: 𝑝𝑎𝑛𝑖𝑐 𝑎𝑡𝑡𝑎𝑐𝑘
⌦ 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑𝑠: 1092

***

"Fuck- fuck fuck fuck!!" Jisung screamed, so loud it hurt his lungs. It got him out of breath and left him panting harshly, gulping for air.

"Fuck this all- fuck this bullshit!" he screamed, fresh tears running down his pale, raw and already wet cheeks.

"I hate this all- I want to die, I want to fucking die, so please, please LET ME DIE!!" he shouted and cursed himself, because he was sure his neighbors were able to hear him having a break down for the nth time this week. Maybe this week just wasn't on Jisung's side and he was just in a bad mood. But Jisung himself knew better.

He had felt like this for a while now, and everything had piled up inside him; the bad feelings in his chest, and those bad thoughts in his head. Jisung swore he was going to go insane.

He hated this. He knew the depression he had when he was fifteen, had came back, worse, nd making the poor boy hate everything again.

So now, here he was, in his own room, having a break down.

He was hitting himself; sometimes he beated himself up so bad that he cried out of physical pain. But the things is, he just wanted to feel something. He wanted to be able to cry. But after all, all he wanted to was to be happy, able to enjoy life, able to have fun like others.

His body was already full of scars and bruises, and he hated it, so, so much. I'm so ugly and disgusting..." he would whisper to himself, standing in fron of a mirror in the bathroom and cry oh so silently.

But for now, he just wanted to- no, he didn't want to, he really didn't, but there he was, in his room, in his own apartment, screaming his lungs out and crying his eyes out.

Jisung didn't even notice that at some point there were strong and long arms around him, and he was being pushed into someone's warm chest.

But Jisung didn't even try to push the other away. He knew he wouldn't succeed. So, for now, he just let the warmth and the safe feeling surround him.

After a while, Jisung didn't even notice that someone had started to talk. Did they talk to him? Maybe... What did they say? Jisung had no idea. The soft and gentle voice started distant, almost muted, but got clearer and louder by each minute. And Jisung didn't have choices, but listen.

"Jisung?" Yeah? "You hear me?" Yeah, I do...

It was Hyunjin. Jisung's best friend. His partner in crime. There were no words to describe their friendship. It was a deep connection between the two. Everybody knew the fun fact about them: they started as enemies, ended up as best friends forever.

"-sung? Hey, listen to me... focus on my voice" Hyunjin's calming voice said, and Jisung found himself calming down.

"Sung? Can you day something to me?" the slightly older continued, as he kept his firm and strong grip around the younger and kept on rocking them back and forth.

It took a while for Jisung to get out of his spell, and got that there actually was a question being thrown at him. He thought for a little bit, then sighed shakily.

"Y-yeah" he spoke simply and shakily. It

"What happened, Sung?" the older asked. He carefully and gently pulled them apart, so he could see the other's face, but oh boy how he could feel his heart shatter. The younger boy's face was pale and those soft and chubby cheeks were now red and soaked by tears. The eyes? Well, they looked dead. So dark and sad, it made the older to want to cry.

"Oh Sung... look at you" he said quietly, and brought his thumbs up to the other's face to wipe away those damn tears.

Yeah, I know... I probably look so ugly.

"Tell me... what happened?" the older asked again, looking at the younger, whose head hung low.

Jisung's eyes were anywhere but onto the older, looking at the floor or his own lap. The younger also played with his hands, to ease the once again rising anxiety and maybe giving himself some self comfort. He was definitely good at that.

"I-I...M-my p-parents..." "What about them?"

It was a silent moment for a while. The older waited patiently, as the younger tried to think.

"... they hate me..." the younger just simply said. He could feel the tears forming in his eyes. Come on, not again...

"What do you mean?" Hyunjin asked, and was always there to catch the new falling tears that escaped the younger's eyes.

"They h-hate me... my own p-parents fucking hate m-me" the younger started to sob softly.

"No, Sung- why would they hate you? They're your parents, and they love you-"

"N-no! You don't understand- they hate me!!" Jisung could feel the rising anger in his chest. He thought he had let it out already, but clearly not.

"Jis-" the older tried but got interrupted again.

"I'm gay, Hyunjin! I like m-men... and my parents are fucking h-homophobics!!" the younger screamed and got the older startled.

And then, the silence fell again. It was silent. Only the ugly sobbing of the younger could be heard. Hyunjin just sat there, trying to think and comprehend, like there was something left to try to understand. He understood... very well, actually.

Hyunjin turned to look at the younger in front of him, curling into himself as he sobbed.

"J-jisung... I'm so sorry-"

"Why would you be s-sorry- it's not your fault..." Jisung cried, clearly frustrated and angry.

"Come here" was all the older could let out loud from his mouth, as he opened his arms and let the younger crash into them.

He held the shaking and sobbing younger in his arms tightly, as if to protect him, as he whispered sweet nothings into the younger's ear, to try and calm him down. It worked, since the younger boy was already drifting to sleep unconsciously from the exhaustion of crying and screaming so much; his cries died down and his breathing got stable, as his body slumped and relaxed in his hyung's hold. And his hyung held him still.

"Tomorrow will be better, Sung, I promise" the older whispered to the boy deep asleep.

It will not, but at least I have you Jinnie...