SKZ - oneshots (completed)

Hyunlix

⌦ 𝐻𝑦𝑢𝑛𝑙𝑖𝑥
⌦ 𝑡𝑤𝑠: 𝑒𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑜𝑟𝑑𝑒𝑟, 𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑘𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑣𝑖𝑜𝑙𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑒, 𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓 𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑒𝑚 𝑖𝑠𝑠𝑢𝑒𝑠
⌦ 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑𝑠: 1517

***

God, I can't believe I was chosen for the project. Why did they choose me?

Hyunjin closes the apartment door behind him, glad to be finally home.

I'm not even that talented. I'm not even that good looking. God, some of the other guys are so much prettier and they're so much better than me. Why weren't they chosen?

He kicks his shoes off, not really caring they're ended up all over the floor. He throws his packback onto the floor as well, it falling over.

This must be some kind of a joke... some kind of a prank... this can't be right.

He sighs in exhaustion. He's so exhausted and in so many ways. Physically and mentally, emotionally and socially. He gets only a little sleep nowadays, not being able to rest and relax properly. He's been working so hard as well, putting his all in. He's been busy and stressed, worrying over the smallest and almost nonexistent things. He's been thinking too much as well. But still, he can't collect all his thoughts. They're a mess. He's a mess.

This has been a great dream honestly, I can't deny that... but why doesn't it feel that great now that I've accomplished it? Why does it feel so indifferent and so... vain? Why does this all feel so useless? God, I lust be so useless myself.

He walks to the kitchen, a rumbling belly demanding some food and nutrients. Maybe he could order something and treat himself a little. He's been living with instant noodles and packed sandwiches for a couple of weeks. Only work in his mind. He's a bit forgetful sometimes. Scatterbrained. He curses himself quietly.

I don't deserve the place though. What have I done? I've been working hard and trying my best, I really have, but I'm not sure if it's worth it. I'm not worth it. I don't deserve this.

He opens the fridge and eyes its contents for a while until his eyes land on the left over box that was left there yesterday. He gets confused, brows furrowing.

Hasn't Felix eaten yet? Hasn't he eaten at all today? Has he been that busy? No, that can't be...

Before he can start questioning too much, he senses a figure quietly entering the kitchen. He turns around and sees his dongsaeng, Felix. The other looks like he's trying to make himself seem as small as possible, slumped shoulders, head hanging. He's a bit pale as well, eyes looking as tired as ever, but he still flashes a small, some what genuine smile at Hyunjin. Hyunjin can't help the smile of his own that forms on his lips and tugs them upwards. He instantly feels a bit better. He's grateful, happy, relieved.

"Hey... have you eaten something today? Because the left overs are still here..." Hyunjin asks, just out of curiosity. He just wants to make sure.

"Oh, uh, y-yeah... I had something with Jisung earlier... we went to that one cafe together..." Felix replies, voice small, barely above a whisper. He looks a bit sheepish, eyes running everywhere but on Hyunjin, fiddling with his fingers. Hyunjin nods.

"Okay... just wanted to make sure, I trust you" Hyunjin says. He looks at the other, eyeing him up and down. Felix feels even more anxious, under the other's eyes. As if he's being judged.

"Alright... I'll eat now... do you want to join me? I could order something..." Hyunjin asks then, tone hopeful.

"No- no, I'm good, but thanks" Felix says then. He turns around and hurries away. Hyunjin shrugs.