SKZ - oneshots (completed)

Chan

⌦ 𝐶ℎ𝑎𝑛
⌦ 𝑡𝑤: 𝑖𝑚𝑝𝑙𝑖𝑒𝑑 𝑑𝑒𝑎𝑡ℎ
⌦ 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑𝑠: 298

***

My name is Bang Chan. I'm twenty seven years old. I'm dead.

Yes. It happens. There's nothing to do now. Just wander around, watch old friends doing their things and moving on with life. Life. Something I don't have.

I died two years ago. I took my own life. I was exhausted, it reached the deepest point of my soul. From the bottom of it, I was done. Done living a life that was lonely, so lonely.

I had friends, yes. They were my everything. I looked at them fondly, I loved them with my whole heart and I felt at home with them. Nothing helped the scratching feeling inside of me though. Loneliness. I had people around me but somehow I felt like I was alone. Just me, no one else. I couldn't escape that feeling and it won. I gave up. I lost. I was so exhausted.

I felt like an outsider. A misfit. Someone who didn't belong to this world, with these people. It hurt.

I always asked my friends how they are. I promised to be there. I promised they could come to me. Always. And they did. They trusted me. I felt grateful. I felt useful and helpful. I thought I had found a meaning for life, for me. I thought wrong.

I had no one though. No one asked how I was. No one promised to be there. No one promised I could go to them. I had no one.

And I still have no one. I'm still alone. More alone than ever.

My friends look through me just like they did when I still was with them. Well, I'm a ghost now and back then, I was just air.

I was nothing and still am.