SKZ - oneshots (completed)

Minsung

⌦ 𝑀𝑖𝑛𝑠𝑢𝑛𝑔
⌦ 𝑡𝑤𝑠: 𝑏𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑘 𝑢𝑝, 𝑟𝑒𝑓𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑒𝑑 𝑐ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔, ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑡 𝑏𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑘
⌦ 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑𝑠: 814

***

There's a loud silence. It radiates from the both of them, filling up the living room and the whole the apartment. At the same time it's hard to read it. There's so many silent, unanswered questions floating around but the answers are hiding from the daylight somewhere. It's like time has stopped, the whole world around them has stopped- except it isn't really. The clock on the wall beside them is ticking away still.

Jisung lets out the air from his lungs and it sounds a little like a bit too exaggerated sigh. His arms are crossed as he stands in the middle of the livingroom. The fluffy carpet under his socked feet feels soft but it fails to calm him or give him comfort.

He feels lost. If he was to try and sort out the current thoughts and feelings, the lost feeling would be the first he'd be sure of.

It's even more difficult when the thoughts and feelings are so conflicted. There's confusion, anger and hatred. There's understanding, approval and forgiveness.

Nonetheless, under every thought he thinks of, every feeling he feels, there's the painful, unavoidable hurt feeling of a heart break. His heart is shattering, his chest aching. But he allows himself to feel hurt. He has every right to be hurt.

But it doesn't mean the pain feels any better.

He doesn't deserve it.

On the other side of the coffee table sits Minho. On the couch, hunched up, shoulders slumped, head hanging low. He averts his eyes from the younger man standing in front of him but they don't seem to be able to focus on anything particular. His knee is bouncing anxiously up and down and Jisung almost feels empathy towards the older's nervousness. Almost.

Minho has a guilty aura and Jisung would like to sit next to him, take Minho into his arms and say it'll all be okay in the end. He'd like to forget and let go. But he can't.

He feels lost.

He needs this painful silence to be over.

"So..." he starts. The other's breath hitches and body goes stiff. "Minho... This is the time where you speak" Jisung says. He doesn't want to actually hear anything but deep inside he desperately needs to hear the truth.

The older sighs,takes a deep breath and speaks: "I love you, Jisung, no matter what, it won't change" he says, voice shaking but sounding desperate. As if Minho wants to desperately proof something, make sure Jisung knows he's loved.

Despite this. Despite what has happened.

"Oh? Really? Somehow I doubt that" Jisung says, venom dripping but he's hurt.

"Jisung... please, I don't know what else to say" Minho sighs, eyes remaining downcast.

"You're so fucking dumb" Jisung laughs airily and bitterly. "Are you sure, Minho, that you love me?"

"Jisung, wha-"

"Are you?"

"What, of cours-"

"Promise me?"

"Yes!"

"Do you?"

"Yes, yes, for fuck's sake!"

"More than him?"

"I-"

"That's what I thought"

Minho stays silent, now staring at the younger in front of him, eyes wide and face dumbfounded. They're both standing now, the coffee table separating them. Jisung has tears in his eyes he tries to hold back. They're both lost.

"I don't know what to believe in anymore honestly... I think I... I don't know..." Jisung sighs eventually. "I really trusted you, Minho, I- I loved you, no, I love you... still, I-, I... How many times has this happened already, I thought you were over him, I thought that I meant something, we meant something, to you... I don't understand" Jisung rants, tries to keep a hold on reality and not slip into anxiety and panic. Minho remains calm but still at lost.

And Minho doesn't even have anything to say. Anything. Not a single word which could convince Jisung that what they have is still real, mutual, meant to be forever. Minho has nothing to say, to explain and help Jisung understand. Minho just... backs off and gives up. Retreats, defeated. And the more Minho stays silent, the more Jisung breaks.

The more his heart breaks. The more painful the love he holds for Minho gets. He can physically feel his chest tighten with pressure and mental damage.

They don't fight. They never do. Jisung ends up leaving after one too many ticking seconds of drowning silence. He's done. He's done here and with Minho.

He leaves Minho in the living room, in the apartment. Their apartment. No, there's no they. There's no Minho and Jisung. Not anymore.

In the end, promises are meant to break. Perhaps so are hearts. And Jisung's will forever be broken.

The next time he saw Minho again, he saw the older with him. That much Minho held love for Jisung: very little and even less true. Minho's heart was for someone else.