SKZ - oneshots (completed)

Felix

⌦ 𝐹𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑥
⌦ 𝑛𝑜 𝑡𝑤𝑠
⌦ 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑𝑠: 365

***

Mom wants me to come home for a bit. Fly all the way to my childhood city. I hate that place. That place has a place in his heart, however, only in a form of unhappy memories. I've left once and I don't want to go back.

She called me in the morning. I had just woken up, irritated. Maybe I was a bit rude, snappish. I can't find myself being sorry though. Or regretful. It isn't my mom's fault. It's no one's fault. I can't be mad at anyone.

I should've told her to wait. I should've told I'm not ready and I have other things to do. I should've told her I'm busy and I don't have much free time. I should've told her anything, to show I'm not interested, to show I don't want it.

Mom's always been sweet. She's a decent woman, has raised her kids well and has succeeded in life. Though, she could be more tolerant, broad minded and just simply understanding even if she doesn't understand everything. It could be nicer. She could could be nicer.

I don't think I'd be able to be that charming, social butterfly around my family and relatives. People who I want to move on from. People who I don't like. People who don't matter. Call me indifferent and call me rude all you want.

I just hate that place and those people. And I have my reasons.

That's why I don't know why I told my mom yes. Yes, I'll come home. Yes, I'll be there.

I'm a fucking liar.

A fucking loser.

Running away from my own family? People who are meant to mean everything to me. People who I'm supposed to be close with.

And what's happened? I can't even look at my mom in the eyes or have the energy to text my sister back. I'm so awful.

But my mom wants me there, right? She wants me there and even though I have no idea why or how, I'm not questioning it.

Maybe she has something to tell me. Something she couldn't say aloud over the phone.

But anyways, I already said yes.