SKZ - oneshots (completed)

Jilix

⌦ 𝐽𝑖𝑙𝑖𝑥
⌦ 𝑡𝑤𝑠: 𝑎𝑛𝑒𝑚𝑖𝑎, 𝑟𝑒𝑓𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑒𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑎𝑛 𝑒𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑜𝑟𝑑𝑒𝑟
⌦ 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑𝑠: 1313

***

"Nice practise everyone, remember to drink a lot and stay hydrated, it's a hot day today" their teacher speaks and then leaves the room.

Felix and Jisung make their way to the nearest wall and slid down, opening their water bottles and taking big gulps of much needed cool liquid.

"Wanna come over after school?" Felix asks and takes a look at the older next to him.

"Yeah, why not, I don't have any lessons to be at left" the older sais and shruggs.

"Okay, we could watch some anime, if you'd like" Felix proposes.

"That's cool"

"I can also bake something for us or-"

"Lix, anything is fine, really, I'm happy you asked me to come over" Jisung interrupts but offers a smile. Felix gives the other a small, sheepish smile back. "How have you been by the way?" the older continues, looking away.

"What? What do you mean?" Felix asks, not quite getting the point of being asked such a question in such a moment.

"You know what I mean... how have you been?" the older continues.

"I've been fine, I guess... school is stressing of course and I have that one project-"

"I didn't mean that, dumbass, I meant, like, mentally... how have you been mentally?" the older clears and Felix isn't as confused anymore, but feels a little stupid for not understanding earlier. He still doesn't quite understand though.

"I-" he thought it would have been easier to give an answer. He could just be simple and say he's been fine or he could start ranting about everything and nothing at the samr time.

Felix chooses the first option. He doesn't want to bring the mood down, not his own nor his friend's. He keeps it simple.

"I've been fine, thanks... what about you?"

The other hums and nods, but Felix swears he can see the older slightly frowning and that can mean almost anything. Dies Jisung believe him? Does he see past Felix's cover? Does he know he's lying? Does he-

"Okay... I've been fine also" Jisung sounds quiet.

It's awkward for a moment. They watch silently as the dance studio empties and soon they're the only ones left.

"We should go" Jisung says and makes a move to stand up.

"Yeah" Felix says and stands up as well, but as soon as he's up, he's hunching and leaning against the wall behind him, trying to find support there. His vision blackens and blurs and he closes his eyes. He feels his pulse everywhere in his body, hears it in his ears and he feels all dizzy and giddy. He takes his time to lean against the wall, eyes closed and calming down before all his senses come back to him and he opens his eyes. He sees a figure in front of him, mouth moving, eyes worried and eyebrows furrowed. He sees the person's soft cheeks, fluffy hair and wide eyes. Jisung. Then he realizes, Jisung is talking to him as voices become clearer every second.

"Hey, you okay there, man? Do you hear me? Lix?" the other is asking too many question that are easy to answer, but Felix still takes time to open his mouth and try to form some sort of a valid answer. These - he doesn't know how to call them, so he ignores that part - always leave him a bit shocked afterwards, even if he knows very well they're unharmful and pretty normal, at least he hopes so. Jisung doesn't know that tho.

"Y-yeah, just got d-dizzy, I'm okay" he stutters and curses himself for showing his vulnerable, weak side. He tries to straighten his composure and then feels a hand on his shoulder. Jisung's.

"Okay? You gave me quite a scare... are you sure you're okay?" Felix doesn't know why but the concern radiating off of the other is making him dizzy but not in a bad way, at least he hopes so. This dizziness comes with all the shyness and blushiness and he kind of admits he likes it.

"Yeah... I think it's the anemia... that bitch is always handing its ass to me" Felix chuckles nervously and rubs his neck with his other hand. Maybe the situation wasn't that funny at all.

"Okay... are you good to go? Do you think you can walk? We can take the bus to your apartment..." the older proposes.

"No, no, it's fine, we can walk, I feel a lot better now, it's really nothing serious, don't worry" Felix reassures and then they leave. Jisung huddles close, their arms touching and all, but Felix doesn't mind. They also walk much more slowly than necessary, but he doesn't mind that either. He likes it this way.

"You know... I haven't been feeling that fine actually" the older speaks quietly. Felix frowns in confusion and turns to look at the other who looks down at the road in front of him.

"What do you mean?" Felix asks.

"I said I've been feeling fine but I haven't... you remember that accident that happened last week at the practise?" the older asks and takes a glance at the other who looks back in confusion, eyebrows rising. Though Felix nods slowly and unsurely.

"Yeah, I think I've heard of it, why?" Felix asks. He wasn't at school last week at all, being sick and trapped at his apartment for almost the whole week. It was nothing serious tho, but he feels like he missed a lot of things because of it.

"Yeah... it was all my fault... we were practising and everything was going smoothly and all but then I just... I don't remember what exactly happened, but everything just blacked out and I woke up at the hospital. I don't remember anything that happened. They said it was something about being underweight and overworking... Chan-hyung was so pissed that he yelled at me and you know hyung never yells. I've been feeling like a huge failure ever since... and everyone seems to be hovering over me all the time... asking and questioning and stuff and it irritates me... I haven't had problems with eating for many months now and I've been getting better, at least I thought so... I guess I've failed... " the older finishes his ranting and Felix has to admit: that was some heavy stuff, he wasn't expecting something like that at all. He lets himself load.

"You don't have to say anything... I'm sorry for ranting and putting all this on you... I just got kind of worried that you would faint just now, I don't know, I'm sorry" the older keeps on looking at the ground.

"No, no, don't be sorry, I understand your point, I just- wow, I don't really know what to say..." Felix realizes he really needed to process things. He wasn't that good at it.

"You don't have to say anything... I'm sorry for bringing that up, it was selfish of me and-"

"Stop apologizing already, I said it was fine, but I think you are not fine, am I right? I kind of like knew you have history with eating problems, but I didn't think it was that severe... I feel like a bad friend that I didn't acknowledge you better..."

"It's okay, I didn't wabt anyone to know... Chan-hyung was the only one who knew for a long time and now you know but please don't tell anyone..."

"I won't, I promise"

"Thanks.... for listening and stuff" thr older looks at Felix finally and Felix looks back, nodding.

"Of course"

Soon the younger's apartment comes to view and they spent the rest of their day binge watching anime and eating ice cream. They also talk about deep stuff and share memories together, both bad and good. And hopefully, creating new, good memories together.