Forever 3: "The Chances" (Hariana / Diall)

35: The Realizations

Do I need to do the right thing to make them happy? Or should I do the thing that can make me happy?

H A R R Y

I went out of Ariana's room, fucking hurt. She didn't gave me another chance. But I'm not giving up as I said to her. But why is she keeps pushing me away? She always think about Taylor, of course, I always think also, but as I said to her, I'll do everything.

I'm happy that she loves me but something is holding her back. Is she afraid to get hurt again? Because I won't do it again. It's fucking hard to accept all the things I've done to her. I know she loves me, the way I pressed my lips on her, I can feel it.

I here at my room, still crying. I'm trying to calm or to relax myself, but I can't. Her face, her hurted broken face filled with pains is circling in my mind. I can't fucking help it but seeing her suffer makes me more feel ashamed of myself. Because I'm totally ashamed of my shit stuffs that I did. She's right, I've caused too much. I ruined everything and when I ruined it, it can be better anymore or change it anynore. Until, the door opened. Taylor.

"Hi, ba - - Holy! Oh my... Why are you crying?" She said and quickly sat beside me.

"Babe tell me, what happened?" She asked as she caresses my cheeks, cupping it.

"Nothing." I lied.

"No, there's something. Is it about Ariana?" She asked and what the..

"No. It is not about her."  I lied again.

"Please don't lie to me. I know you very well. And that kind of sadness, that kind of cry, is definitely about Ariana." She said.

She's right, because way back then, after the cheating or break up, I'm always crying in front of her, because of Ariana. That's why she all knew about this. But I'm not saying what just happened. About my feelings for her and for Ariana.

"I'm not, Taylor." I said, raising my voice a bit and wiped my tears.

"You're lying." She said and sat on my lap.

"If there's anything happened between you two, I don't care, but you're only mine." She said and before I could speak, she grabbed the back of my neck and pressing each others' lips forcely.

She starts straddling in me, while she's hardening the kiss. She pulled out to breath, also me, but then again, she kissed me hardly. I start pushing her, but she can't get off of me. I don't want her kiss, I want someone's kiss, Ariana.

She starts sucking and licking my lips, but I didn't kissed back at all. First, I'm not in the mood for any romance, I want to fix everything. Second, I'm getting stress and problematic, about Ariana and the rest of the boys that I pushed away, while they're just trying to help me. I'm a fucking jerk. Lastly, confusion, I just want to break up with Taylor, but.

"Taylor, stop..." I said.

"Why, you don't want my kiss?" She asked and definitely Taylor, definitely.

"No, it's just wrong timing. We can't make out anytime and anywhere." I said and sighed.

"Okay, so what do you want? Anything? To talk about? Open up something?" She asked and I can feel like she knows something, but I need to act like nothing.

"Nothing. I'll just go to the bar." I said and stood up.

"Okay, we can go there together." She said.

"No. You should stay here." I said and starts walking away.

But something popped up on my mind. Breaking up with her, dumping her, ending our relationship.