Beautiful like a rose 🌹 but... fragile like a bomb 💣

Cap 1

Massimo POV:

5 years have passed ...
5 years since that cursed night.
5 years since my life is an ordeal.
5 years since I lost everything.
5 years since I breathed even though my heart stopped beating.
Wondering how a man could still be alive if his heart stopped beating.? !!!
Good question and I've been wondering this for 5 years now.
I'm literally a ghost, a robot, I'm like a car going on autopilot.
I think what is being said is true ...
For people like me even the hell is a forbidden place
I know I'm the most hateful person on earth, but don't I even deserve to die? !!! Does God Hate Me So Much?
What an irony after years of being the greatest heathen, years when the only person I worshiped was myself, now I dare to bring God into question.
I know, I know I have no right and all the pain I feel now is "reward" for all the harm and pain I have caused.
But how much pain can a human being endure?
I tried everything from taking such a large amount of cocaine that would have made an elephant's heart stop, to pouring industrial amounts of alcohol down my throat until I got into an alcoholic coma, but every time God brought me back in the world of the living, as if wanting to make fun of me again and again and again ...
I know, I know you will say you are Don Massimo Torricelli, the head of the most powerful and feared mafia family in Italy. You have the world at your feet. You can have absolutely everything you dreamed of in seconds.
Bulshit I'm just a piece of shit
Can I have the world at my feet ???
Hahaha good joke
My world has collapsed, it has died.
It's died the day when I held for the first and last time the fragile and inert body of my son in my arms

That little angel, the pure and innocent soul who did not get to enjoy his childhood, his life.
Until that day, I thought I had seen and experienced all the possible and impossible horrors on this earth
Hahaha how stupid I was all I had lived up to that day was a bad joke.
In those moments with Lucca in my arms inert, without strength, I really felt what hell meant.
I felt every particle of my body slowly decompose, my heartbeat is so strong that you had the feeling that it would pierce my chest and come out through my skin.
I fell to my knees and screamed, screamed so hard that my lungs collapsed, and I ran out of air.
In those moments I realized how fragile I am.
I had everything but I really had nothing
All my power and money was worthless.
Nothing and no one could bring my son back.
And as if that pain wasn't enough, the woman of my life, the woman who taught me to smile and showed me what real love is, struggled between life and death on a hospital bed.
My Laura ... My babygirl
That delicate and fragile woman, and yet so strong.
The only woman who really got to know me. Who make me feel loved, to feel alive.
The woman with whom I learned the definition of the word love. The woman who taught me to differentiate between true love and simple carnal pleasure.
The woman for whom I would have died with a smile on my face.
The woman for who I would have set the whole world on fire just to know she was safe.
I always pretended to be the strong one, the one who protected her when in fact she was the one who protected me without even realizing it. It was my compass, my universe. You know I never say that to her but she was my guardian angel.
But I destroyed everything.
I wounded the only person on the face of the earth for whom I would have sold my soul to the devil so that she would not suffer.
I lost the woman of my life, I lost my child and for that I deserve to burn in hell.

Here you have the first chapter. Hope you enjoy it.
I'm also waiting for your honest opinion in the comment section 😊