𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐋𝐄𝐃 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓 (𝐆𝐗𝐆) (Completed)

𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞

Trigger Warning: Mentions of blood! Read at your own risk!

—

THALEIA

Have you been in love? What is that even feel like?

For someone whose life is a living hell, I never knew how it feels to be loved nor how love works in this cruel world. I scarcely believe that there's such a thing called love. My family never gave me those. I grew up believing that pain is the only emotion we are supposed to feel.

For years, I never feared anything, not even my death. Instead, I wanted people to fear me.

I never showed weakness, it's the last thing that I would do.

But that night changed everything. I couldn't believe I did something for someone that I barely like.

*

When I came back to my senses, there was blood splattered everywhere. Blood that belongs to a certain someone.

Lifting my head, I immediately met her gaze. Blood was also evident on her bare skin.

For the first time in years, I got scared. I knew to myself that I wasn't scared because of the whole thing but because of something deeper.

I shifted my feet to where she was standing but she abruptly stepped back as if she wanted to run away from me. It felt like I was being stabbed by thousands of knives.

How did I get into that gruesome situation? I don't know. I don't even know what I was doing there from the very beginning.

"Tell me, Avika. Do you call this love?" I asked.

Although she was hiding it, I could sense her fear. I couldn't blame her though. What I did was inhumane. Sane people wouldn't do such a thing but I didn't care cause that's what I am. I usually don't give a damn care to anyone.

She didn't answer, she was just there standing in fear.

"Are you afraid now, Avika?" I inquired, trying to intimidate her as I proceeded on walking toward her.

I halted in front of her. I was towering over her small figure yet she didn't budge.

"No" she answered straight to my face. I was surprised by her answer but I refused to show any emotions.

"You're not afraid? How is that even possible?" I asked as I ran my bloody fingers on her jaw. I admit it, she was the prettiest that night wearing her black undies.

"Hindi na ako natatakot sa'yo, Miss Abenson. Just admit that you need help. Handa akong tumulong sabihin mo lang" she told me. How dare she said those words to me? She was probably out of her mind.

I choked an acrid laugh.

"That's bullshit! Why would I need help?" I said incredulously.

"Avika, I don't even like you from the very beginning so I would never need your help" I continued.

She shifted her gaze at the floor as she was on the verge of crying.

Sino siya para hingian ko ng tulong? She's just my student and it was too late to get help. I'm already damaged. I would never be healed.

"Miss Abenson, bakit ang hirap hirap mong intindihin?" she asked which made me stop on track.

"Then stop understanding me" I uttered as I felt an unpleasant sensation inside my chest. I don't have any idea what exactly it was but it killed me right then and there.

Iniangat niyang muli ang tingin niya sa akin. She was crying. I made her cry again. Great.

We then stared at each other's eyes as if we were communicating using them. I couldn't describe how I was feeling at that time. It was something I never felt before.

The next thing she did leave me dumbfounded.

She crushed her lips into mine. I couldn't move. It happened too fast.

I tried to push her but it was futile as my whole system shut down when she started moving her lips. My heart then began throbbing so hard.

What the fuck is she doing to me?

Hindi ko na namalayan ang mga sumunod na nangyari. The next thing I knew I was reciprocating her kiss. It was slow and full of emotions.

We moved in sync as if our lips were perfectly made together. It felt so right. How I wished I did this earlier.

Before I could even realize it, my heart was already longing for her.

*

It only took one night to change everything. I know it's not appropriate to feel this way as she was my student and I was her professor. There's no way that I could feel attraction towards her.

Is it possible for me to feel the love? Love for a woman like me? Love for my student?

If this is what love means then I hate her for making me feel this way.

Maybe, love really moves in mysterious ways but for me, it's simply making me lose my sanity.