𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐋𝐄𝐃 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓 (𝐆𝐗𝐆) (Completed)

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 39: 𝐒𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞

"Ma'am, ano 'to? Bakit mo ko dinala rito?" I have a hard time speaking as a lump was building up in my throat.

"Your mother requested this. I--"

"Kahit na. Ayoko rito, uuwi na ko" pagmamatigas ko at tinalikuran siya. Nagdire-diretso ako sa kotse niya pero nung oras na mabuksan ko na ang pinto ng kotse ay hinablot ni Ms. Abenson ang kamay ko at inilagay ako sa likuran niya, padabog niya ring isinara ang pinto ng kotse. Hinila niya ako palayo mula doon at nung hinila ko na pabalik ang kamay ko ay saka lang siya tumigil sa paglalakad sa'kin.

"Avika, you need to listen to me"

"Ayoko! Gusto ko ng umuwi!" bulyaw ko at muli siyang tinalikuran. I walked in haste, not minding her screamed. All I wanted to do is to get out of here. Hindi ko pa kaya. Alam kong matagal na yun pero hindi pa ako handa.

Nang makarating sa kotse ay kagyat ko yung binuksan pero tila nakalock ito kaya hindi ko magawang mabuksan-buksan.

"Puta naman! Magbukas ka!" I yelled in so much frustration but I was appalled when a hand yanked me away from the car, wrapping me in her arms.

"Avika, breathe it out" untag niya habang sinusubukang pakalmahin ako sa pamamagitan ng paghaplos sa likuran ko. Just by that, I noticed a warm liquid running down on my face.

Napakapit na lang ako sa tagiliran ng damit niya nang mahigpit.

"B-Bakit mo ba kase ako dinala rito?" tanong ko habang patuloy pa rin sa pag-iyak.

Naramdaman ko ang pagkalas niya mula sa pagkakayakap at hinarap ako. She fixed my hair before cupping my face using her two hands. She fixated her eyes on mine as she tried to communicate using them. Hindi ko maintindihan pero ibang-iba siya ngayon.

"Avika, I could be the dumbest when it comes to words but I'll try to explain this to you" umpisa niya.

"I brought you here because of your mom. She told me everything about your father's death and how did you cope up with it. Ilang taon na yung lumipas, Avika. I could still remember how you tell me about him before pero bakit ganon na lang ang paglimot mo sa kanya ngayon?" tanong nito kaya napaiwas na ako ng tingin. Naaalala pa pala niya lahat ng mga kinukwento ko sa kanya noon. Akala ko nalimutan na niya lahat.

Hindi ako sumagot. My mind felt like shutting down that I couldn't think of a right word to explain myself to her. Kailangan ko pa bang gawin yun gayong isa rin siya sa umiwan sa'kin noon?

"You don't need to answer it but at least try to visit him this time" suhestyon niya pero mabilis akong umiling. Tumingala ako dahil sa nagbabadyang pagbuhos ulit ng luha ko.

Nadinig ko na lang ang mabigat na buntong hininga niya bago ako iginiya sa tabi ng puno. Nagulat na lang ako nung umupo siya sa lupa na hindi man lang iniinda ang dumi roon. May kadiliman na sa pwesto namin kaya hindi ko makita ang mukha niya pero ramdam kong nauubusan na siya ng pasensya sa'kin.

There was a long silence as she was sitting there quietly while I stood in front of her. Naghahalo-halo na yung nararamdaman ko at gusto ko ay yakapin niya ulit ako kagaya kanina pero sa itsura niya ngayon ay mukhang napuno na rin siya sa'kin.

Ilang minuto pa ang lumipas bago siya na mismo ang bumasag ng katahimikan.

"Avika, one thing you don't know about me is that... I couldn't recognize my own feelings most of the time that's why I find it difficult to show any emotions. I grew up in an environment where I never received affection, not even from my parents" she said monotonous.

"It really affected me and there are times that I wanted to get out of my own head and just switched body with someone so by that I could feel how to be a person. I'm telling you this not because I want you to pity me but I want you to realize that you're so lucky to have your parents as well as they're lucky to have you as their daughter"