THANDI
I get comfortable in my room then I take out the white envelope Gundo gave me earlier. I look at it wondering what she could possibly have to say to me. She doesn't owe me any explanation and I'm also not in a position to judge her, as much as what she did seems cruel, there's no telling what she was thinking when she planned it and prenatal depression could have played a big role in her doing what she did. I honestly don't think any mother, in their right state of mind can choose to leave their new born, there must be a big reason
I carefully open it and I'm met my a letter and another sealed envelope inside. I take out the second envelope and the back it's written "Melokuhle"
I don't have to crack my head as to why she decided to put his letter in my envelope and I'm greatful that she didn't decide to expose their relato either Gundo or Jerome. The last thing I want is trouble for Melo
I place his away, deciding I'll give it to him later then I open my letter
To Thandi
First off, I'd like to
start by apologizing.
I know my existence has brought you nothing but pain and sorrow and for that, I'm very sorry
I'm sorry that you had to get caught up in all this. I believe that when you married Gundo. Not once did you imagine that your life would take this turn
I'd also like to apologise on behalf of my father because I know he will never apologise for all his wrongdoings, he doesn't even see them as wrongdoings even though you almost lost your life because of him. So I'm very sorry, Thandi.
There's one thing I'd like you to understand. I never wanted for things to get this far. I never even wanted to be married but for the longest time I believed it was for a good cause. But something has to give, something has to change and I have to rescue myself from living this miserable lifw because no one will ever come to my rescue
You probably know this already but I'll say it still. You're the only woman Gundo loves. A while back I would have never admitted this fact but it is the truth and it is what makes things worse. Because even in times when it was just us two, I never felt his presence, he was never fully there with me and when he decided to be, I was used as a replacement for you.
I also want you to know that I wasn't playing with Melo's heart. I dearly love him and I hope you will pass on his envelope because he too deserves to know how it ended
Thandi, I'm not perfect. I'm far from it and the worst thing I ever did was to listen to wrong advices and fail to stand up for what I want. Up to a point where I ended up pregnant
I do regret being being pregnant, but I don't regret keeping the child because in all this, he's innocent. Which brings me to my next point
I don't know where you and Gundo are going to end. If you're going to work things out or if you've really left him. Bit in the event that you decide to work things out with him, which is very much understandable because in this life we should live to fulfil our hearts desires, I just ask that you don't look at his son and see my acts. I ask that whatever anger and resentment you might have for me, please don't take it out on the innocent baby. Please treat him fairly and if your heart agrees, please treat him as you would your own child
What I'm asking for might be too much, but I figured it's worth a try.
I'm done with the deal my dad and Gundo have and best believe, this it for me. I don't know when I will be back, if I will be back but I felt it very important for you to know that I'm sorry and I'm done.
