Pokémon Subway Bosses x reader oneshots

Incorrect Quote dump 20! 🥳

Sources: Parks and rec, the Simpsons, Not always right, That 70s show, Dead like me, Grim adventures of Billy and Mandy. Night court, Clerks the animated series.

[Tw for: Death, illness, dark humor, animal death, suggestive themes.]

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Emmet: [to Ingo as he enters their office] Hey! Good morning.

Ingo: Why are there six people outside who say they're all waiting to battle us?

Emmet: So, y'know how you're my big bro and you love me because you haven't had a single battle request while you and Y/n went on your honeymoon? [Ingo nods, looking wary.] That's because every time someone called and requested a battle with us, I always schedule it for March 31st.

Ingo: Why?

Emmet: Because I didn't think March 31st existed. [Ingo looks confused] "Thirty days hath September, April, March, and November."

Ingo:[corrects him] JUNE, and November. [Emmet looks ashamed] Today is March 31st.

Emmet: I know....

Ingo: So, then, how many battles do we have today?

Emmet: 93.

Ingo:[groans with agony] Ooookay. Okay. Well... you know what to do.

Emmet: Right.

{Emmet gets on the PA and tells all staff: Depot agents, janitorial staff, Station Security; even The Grind Station café wait staff, pretty much anyone and everyone who works at the Gear station with a Pokémon and a lick of battle knowledge, is to report to the stations meeting hall. So he and Ingo can assign them into groups and assign those groups to a battle train and help the twins deal with the influx of trainers waiting to take a crack at them..]

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(S/o is seven months pregnant. Emmet doesn't like it when they poke their belly or try to 'wake up' their twins by shaking their bump. He puts his head on their bump to talk to the babies.)

Emmet: You don't like that, do you? Never let moddy bully you, ever. they're being mean.

S/o: I am not. I try to have SOMETHING orange every day, because they seem to love it.

(Emmet continues to talk to their belly.)

Emmet: That's called bribery. Don't accept that, either. It's illegal.

(Suddenly, one of the twins kicks very forcefully, hitting Emmet's cheek.)

Emmet: Okay, do you want orange juice or just the orange?

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(Emmet is going to bed and turns to his nephew Mason who is barely two years old, and is very upset cos unky Emmet ate his last "grammy" (graham cracker).)

Emmet: Can I have a hug goodnight?

Mason: NO. No hugs, no kisses! Go cry!

(Mason crosses his arms and pouts, everyone snickers.)

Emmet *to Ingo*: Yep, that's definitely your kid!