Incorrect Quote dump 25

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Sources: reddit, Ifunny, the zeta project, myself, skyrim, red vs blue, Snakes on a plane, texts from last night, futurama, achievement hunter, psych, south park the stick of truth, castle

Featured aus: Roommate au, Necromancer au, courtroom au]

Tw: for dark humor, zombies

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Random Lady on the Tv: VIDEO GAMES CAUSE VIOLENCE!

Ingo, Y/n and Emmet, playing Pokémon-crossing; hitting a Dunsparce villager with bug nets: (deadpan) Video games cause violence...

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{Ingo is exhausted helping Zisu train recruits and Melli with patrols, is delighted when his break finally comes.]

Ingo, to Melli: Now if you'll excuse me, I have more important matters to attend to.

{Ingo goes over to the tree Y/n's sitting under; filling out Pokédex entries.]

Ingo, lies down: *falls asleep on his wife's lap*

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{Y/n is looking for a date for a wedding, but has no luck. Elesa suggests Y/n pays her cousin Grimsley to escort her.]

Elesa, to Y/n: Trust me, Grim will do anything for money.

Grimsley: That's not true.

Elesa: It's not? I'll give you ten bucks to punch Emmet in the face.

Grimsley, looking at the twins: (eagerly) Which one's Emmet?

Emmet, pointing at Ingo: He is.

(Ingo looks at his brother then at the slowly advancing Grimsley.)

Elesa: See? Just give just him like 100 bucks; he'll follow you to the ends of the earth.

[In the background Grimsley throws a punch at Ingo, only for the conductor to counter the attack and throw the gambler through a wall knocking him out cold! Y/n ends up taking Ingo to the wedding instead.]

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{Ingo walks into his office to find Emmet and Y/n have covered it and themselves in post-its}

Ingo, to Emmet and Y/n: You two are not making my life easy right now.

Emmet: Do we ever?

Ingo:...

Ingo: Good point.

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[Ingo is waiting while Y/n is getting a scratch checked over by a base camp medic.]

Y/n: Is this gonna take long doctor? I need to report to Laventon at the summit camp.

Field Medic: Oh, I'm not a doctor I'm a medic.

Ingo: What's the difference?

Field Medic: Well Doctors heal you, I just make sure you feel comfortable while you die.

Ingo & Y/n:....

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