Pokémon Subway Bosses x reader oneshots

Incorrect Quote dump 28

Sources: Helluva boss, myself, Frasier, dead like me, Invader zim, not always right, texts from last, the simpsons, paranorman, the office, archer

Feat. AUs: Slashermas au by peachsodama, Reaper pact au, Wayward spiral au, mechanic au, Necromancer au, haunted rail au, gargoyle au

TW for Mature themes.

Slashermas au: Tw: kidnapping, imprisonment, murder.

Haunted rails: TW: Hanging, death, ghosts, body horror.

featured OCs: Carol Trevithick (Ingo and Emmet's little sister.) Devon, subway boss 'Alto'.

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Emmet: are you baking a cake?

E-S/o: No.

Emmet: Then why'd you buy all that frosting for?

E-S/o: To dip my pretzels in or to spread on my pancakes...

Emmet, looking at them in awe: You can do that?

E-S/o: Yeah, you've never tried pretzels in chocolate frosting or using cream-cheese frosting on pancakes? *chefs kiss* phenomenal! (holding a can of confetti frosting and a bowl of pretzels.) Wanna try some pretzels?

Emmet: No, I Kinda want pancakes now.

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[Reaper pact au: Reaper! Emmet is on a date with E-S/o, which is unfortunately interrupted by a man who just won't take 'no' for a answer.]

Rando: Hey there cutie, why don't you ditch the goth string-bean and hangout with a real man?

E-S/o, rolls eyes: Do I look like I have to IQ of peanut? Go bug someone else ya jackass..

Rando: Maybe you didn't hear me bab-

E-S/o, ignoring him: Let's go somewhere Em, this places reeks of I peaked in high school and desperation.

Rando, grabs E-S/o's arm: Don't you igno-

{Emmet's hand suddenly juts out grabs the guy by the collar, Emmet's eyes glow an icy blue as he pulls the man's soul out of it's body which collapses to floor in a drooling twitching husk.]

Emmet, hold's the man's soul against a wall by the neck: Sir, I'm going to say this as politely as possible... I will fuck you up!

{A confused and worried crowd begins to form, and at E-S/o's behest Emmet put the man's soul back. Upon awakening the man let out a loud gasp, he looks up the couple in terror, and literally peed himself before running away, E-S/o knew Emmet and them were in for it when Ingo catches wind about this!]

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{It's winter Ingo is having trouble getting his car started, so Emmet feeling cold decided to go back into his half of the duplex, where his S/o is in the kitchen making coffee; wearing nothing but one of his button-up shirts, Emmet smirks and comes up behind and slips his hands up the shirt resting them on E-S/o's chest.}

E-S/o, shudders: Em! Your fingers are like ice!

Emmet: I know, that's why did it!~

{Emmet starts kissing their neck and playing with E-S/o breasts causing them to squirm against him.]

Emmet: You're doing such a good job keeping my hands warm...