i got so triggered yesterday that i was kinda unable to function and now im on my period but at least about 42 people think im hot??? what a time.
hope yall r having a great time <3
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Childe had always thought himself to be tough drinker. He could mix alcohol, take shots and generally party hard and then still be at the very worst a little tipsy.
He never expected a bottle of red wine would be the death of him.
"Ajax?" A soft familiar voice sounded somewhere above him. He felt delicate and warm touch on his forehead. He heard a tiered sigh.
"Don't tell me you're drunk."
Childe wasn't exactly sure where he was nor how he ended up like this and the stingy headache didn't exactly motivate him to get his shit together.
The hand that was pressed to his forehead, now slid down to his cheek as he felt somebody's fingers gently stroking his hair.
He opened his eyes slightly but not too much - the room was soaking in darkness however the blinds weren't closed and headlights of cars driving through the road below felt like daggers abruptly and brutally cutting through his brain. As Childe was slowly getting his sight used to the current circumstances, he was also slowly begining to realise who was standing above him.
He felt a sudden ache in his chest, when he remembered to whom belonged the smile he was now admiring.
"y/n" Childe said quietly. His voice was husky and his throat burnt - he couldn't say much more, so he just gazed at his companion with bloodshot eyes and a pathetic look on his face.
y/n sighed and the smile on their lips grew more gentle.
"You're such an idiot" he heard their light chuckle. "Wait, I'll bring you some water."
y/n wanted to get up but Childe, a bit unconciously, grabbed them by the wrist and held down by the waist, so that now, they were sitting next to him on the couch.
"No" he pouted. "Don't go. Don't leave me."
"I'm only going to the kitchen, silly" they explained calmly. "I'm not leaving."
He gave them a miserable look.
"Liar" he murmured, holding y/n tighter. "You always leave me."
He'd never say that sober. He was too proud to let y/n see how much the meant to him. Childe always imagined it would be embarassing to confess the truth. And if y/n knew, they probably wouldn't want to have anything to do with him anymore.
Being pathetic and miserable in this situation was his own fault, he knew it.
y/n would never reciprocate his feelings, obviously. Aside from the fact that they were the coldest, most unbothered and practical person he knew, y/n had so many other and better options than a psychotic paid assasin. Childe made peace with the fact that no one would ever love him very early in his life, somewhere about the time he was seven. It still pained him though, to see that the assumptions he'd made about himself, such as being unnecessarily cruel and unlovable were true.
He lied on a couch, feeling dizzy and keeping his eyes locked with y/n's.
"We need to clean you up, Ajax" y/n told him, caressing his cheek. "You spilled wine on yourself."
Childe blinked surprised and looked at his elegant white shirt, which was indeed stined with red.
"This isn't a stain of red wine" he growled. "I'm bleeding, love."
"You're drunk."
"Yeah" he chuckled. "It's funny. I've never been drunk before. And I've never drunk with you before too."
"You blame me?" y/n raised an eyebrow.
Childe for a moment only started into their eyes. The sparks of passing headlights reflected in them and maybe it was because of how intoxicated he was right now, but from this moment on, to him no city lights would shineas bright as those eyes.
"I could never." He smiled and let go of their wirst. He pressed his hand to y/n's cheek and before he could have stopped himself, he began to pour his heart out:
"I blame myself" he said. "I let my guard down. And I only do that around you. And it's my choice to do so. I mean, I don't think I have much of a choice" Childe laughed. y/n watched him silence and didn't let their eyes look away. He could read their mind, so he decided to let them read his. The consequences would be falling soon but he was too drunk to care. Or too much in love. Or both.
"I just do that. And I know you're not the type to be soft and understanding and I think of all the people out there, you'd be the most likely to kill me." It was hard for him to speak but now that he had y/n's attention, he had to say it all. "And I know why I am like this with you and you'd have to be blind not to notice." He stared into their eyes. Times was frozen, just like y/n's expression. "So please, I just need to know, if you..."
y/n pressed their hand harder to his cheek and stood up. This time, he didn't manage to hold them down.
They disappeared in the darkness of the apartment but came back quickly, with a glass of water.
"Drink up" y/n ordered as they passed the glass to Childe.
He obiediently listened but at the same time, he kept his eyes on y/n.
They took away the empty glass from him, put it on the floor and sat down next to him again.
"You really are an idiot, you know that, right?" they sighed, rubbing their temples.
"I know" he said quietly. "I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking I just..."
"Well clearly" y/n scoffed, suddenly leaning over him, with their hand next to the side of his head and with the other holding his chin.
Childe felt warmth run through his body as their skin touched.
y/n's lips were so close, they were almost touching his. If he moved, even a little, they could kiss. But he stayed as he was, paralysed and intoxicated. He never felt more alive than right now, fighting for his every breath and with blood rushing through his veins.
y/n smirked and for a split of a second Childe could swear he saw himself in their eyes like in the mirror.
"But I'm glad you finally came to your senses, Ajax" y/n whispered into his lips.
