sorri for ghosting yall again i was busy hitting my personal rockbottom and then i got distracted cuz i found a shovel and dug deeper and deeper and i dont think there's anything more to dig towards at this point so im back here!
hope u enjoy, this one is a random scene i had in my mind and i feel like it could eventually end up as a part of a bigger story but we'll see
***
“I can’t, Lumine.” DIluc stopped suddenly. “I am sorry.”
She turned around and made a step closer towards him.
“Why?” Lumine asked, a bit put off. “You did nothing wrong, why do you apologize?”
Diluc was pale, more than ever and his eyes had a yearning, sad look. Lumine swallowed and made sure her face was completely straight. Although her friend usually had a dead-looking expression, she had a nasty feeling about this particular one.
He exhaled and gazed at her, kind of pathetically to be honest.
“Because you’re going to hate me” he said quietly.
She could barely hear him through the noises of the city, wind and the party inside the house but even if he yelled, he wouldn’t have made her more terrified.
If Diluc himself decided that it was something they should talk about and it was something that made him of all the people this anxious, then it truly must have been a dire situation.
“Are you drunk?” she asked dryly but still with a slight hope in her voice.
“No, no I’m not.”
“Then what is it?” Lumine stared him in the eyes coldly. “Because you didn’t do anything wrong, really.”
“I...”
“Or is there something I should know about?” She raised an eyebrow.
Diluc’s eyes escaped hers.
“Lumine, it’s... Complicated.” He rubbed his temple, frowning deeply.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” She rolled her eyes and sighed. “I’m great at dealing with complicated issues.” Lumine smiled slightly. “And I usually get paid for that handsomely but if it’s for you, then I might as well just do it for free.”
The cold wind blew around them, messing their hair and making their eyes watery.
For a moment he seemed to calculate something and consider it carefully, all the while gazing at Lumine with foggy eyes.
“I’m in love with you” Diluc said it right into her face. She couldn’t even turn around and pretend she didn’t hear. She couldn’t escape this confession. “I have been for the past year and now if you...” He stopped seeing how Lumine was shaking her head slowly. “What is it?”
“It’ll pass, Diluc.”
He blinked surprised.
“Why do you say that?”
“Because nothing is forever.” She smiled softly. “Because that’s what always happens. And I sincerely wish you that it happens to you.”
“Why?” Now he was the one asking questions.
“Diluc, listen to me.” Lumine sighed, rubbing her brow. “You’ll forget me eventually. I’m not the type to stay. I’m not the type to be around when you need me.”
He shook his head.
“I know and I don’t care” he raised his voice a little and didn’t even seem to have realised. “And even though you never hang around and you leave, I still... Well...” He was blushing and losing his cool. It was so strange to see and Lumine didn't know what to do about it.
“I’m sorry."
Diluc shook his head again, sighing and slowly collecting himself.
“And I’m sorry I wasn’t honest with you about it until now.” His expression was growing indifferent and the weight of his words was getting washed away from the corners of his mouth. “We’re... We’re friends first and foremost and my feelings towards you and the way they affect our relationship is not only my business. You deserved to know the truth a long time ago and I apologize." He looked her straight in the eyes again. “If you need time and space I...”
His lips were going violet and they must have been terribly cold. And soft. And he would probably taste like that sweetly-sour wine they’ve been drinking earlier.
She could kiss him now.
Lumine was sure he wouldn’t stop her. He’d hold her hand, caress her cheek and put a palm on her back and pull her closer; So close there wouldn’t be any space left between them anymore and they both would have flushed cheeks. And maybe then, when they’d have to stop and catch their breath, she’d look him in the eyes and she’d say “I love you too. Way too much”.
And he’d smile and kiss her and she would just let him and wouldn’t think about anything, because she would finally be honest with him and with herself.
But to kiss him now would be cruel.
She knew that all too well, because she knew herself.
It made her sad, because she knew she’d hurt him and he did not deserve that.
Diluc was a good, honest man. And he’d never hurt her. She could rip his heart out and rip it and he’d still bake her cookies and kiss her forehead good-night.
But Lumine?
Truth be told, she wasn’t even sure she really was in love with him; Most likely she just got overly attached, because he was the first person in a long time to show her kindness, compassion and give her his time and attention. And now she was mistaking this feeling for love and if she didn’t snap out of it quickly, she’d ruin a man.
“You did nothing wrong, Diluc” Lumine said with a calm certainty. “You did what you thought was best. The choice was yours.”
“And I chose wrong.”
