My venting book + Stories(?)

I am back

I'm back and I'm starting to feel better. Since I didn't write for a whole week, I tried to remember everything that happened this week so I could put it into this long chapter. So anyways this is how my week went.

January 8th, I had the strangest dream where the guest bedroom door would continuously open and close by itself. My bedroom is right next to it so that's great. I tried to tell my mom but she didn't listen and said it was just the air conditioning. One day the door just opened and closed extremely fast and when I looked through the crack, I saw my dead grandpa laying down and staring at me. That was where the dream ended.

After that, my sister dyed/bleached half of my hair blonde and the other half black. Like Melanie Martinez. I love Melanie Martinez a lot and I always wanted to have hair like hers when I first saw her. It took 6 hours of just me sitting in a chair and now I have half black hair and half orange hair. I already had dark hair before so that's why it didn't turn out the way I wanted. But now I'm a ginger so that's great.

January 10th, Okay so I did something yesterday before school and now I have blonde hair. I'm happy now. I kept getting a lot of stares from people and I'm pretty sure it's because they think I look weird. But I'm happy with my body right now so I shouldn't let their opinions get to me. Anyways, it's been hard getting over the death because everyone keeps bringing it up whenever I least expect it. Even people who weren't even friends with them are having breakdowns because of it.

I finished 2/6 of my exams but I'll probably have to stay after school to finish them. But I passed my science exam so I'm proud of myself. It's been hard trying to keep up with school work after 3 weeks of no school. Also while I was walking to my last class, someone in the halls ripped off a girls hair. Like one of her braids. And everyone huddled around it as if it was a snake. But it was literally just a long braid. It kinda looked like it was cut or it was an extension but it still must've hurt.

January 12th, So I almost finished all my exams. I say that because I still have my math exam to do but apparently yesterday (Wednesday) was the last day to do them so I guess I can't. My mom figured out that I needed to do my exams yesterday so I wasn't able to hang out with my friends today but I will tomorrow. But my other friend texted me just now saying they wanted to hang out this weekend so now I have to clean my room. I also have to clean my shared bathroom even though all the mess comes from my older sister.

Time management and not procrastinating is so hard for me. Like I'm so used to just staring at my phone and doing whatever on it but now I have to get back to my school schedule and doing my school work. And now I'm worrying that I'm making too many plans. Because I'm trying to hang out with so many of my friends just to keep them happy but I feel like it's just taking a toll on me. Like my friend who just texted me about hanging out this weekend. They are leaving for Disney next week and won't be here at all so I can't hang out with them until a long time. They've been my best friend since 2nd grade so that's why I'm making such a big deal about it. They've stayed with me in my darkest moments and cheers me up a lot.

I just realized something. My grammar is pretty bad but I try my best. But sometimes I'm just not having it. So if you guys see any spelling mistakes on any of my stories then please tell me. I have another personal diary on my school computer and it's basically the same as this but I mess up my words a lot more on it. But because I only let my close friends on it, they don't realize that it's such a big deal for me. And I actually hate when they correct me on my speaking on that because 90% of the time when I write in my personal diary I'm on the verge of a mental breakdown. Sometimes people just need to mind their own business and leave things where they are. Just like this one girl that sits next to me.

She bullies me and my friends a lot and for no reason. Like she's always cheating off of me and staring at me as if I'm a monster. And I'm just over here while trying to hide my answers from her like 'I get it, I look like a freak and I act like a complete weirdo but stop staring at me bish'. Sometimes I just wanna beat up everyone in my school for how they tempest other that aren't exactly like them. People are literally racist and homophobic and transphobic to everyone but whenever someone snitches they're like, "No it was just a joke! I was just playing! I didn't actually mean it!" Like bish we all know you hate the girls and the gays and the theys. Honestly people be doing too much.

January 13th, I'm currently with my friends right now. We walked like 40 minutes to the nearest 7-11 but we didn't even have enough money. I'm a broke bitch so I only had $1. The cashier said that my friend didn't have enough money and said she didn't have enough money but she had 3 single dollars and a 5 dollar bill but he said that she only had 4 dollars. Clearly he can't count so now he scammed her. Anyways me and my other friend (who was my other friends sister) also didn't have enough money but this extremely nice lady paid for our items. We honestly didn't want someone to do that but we were so grateful.

But anyways now we're at this park that's near by their home. But this group of MALE skaters came to sit by us. In all honesty, they looked kinda attractive. Don't attack me for it! Skater boys are kinda attractive to me. I can share a list of things I find attractive some other time. Anyways two more skater boys came over and started to just stare at me. I looked away at my friends but I remembered something that they said. Before we came to the park, we saw two skater boys near us and one of my friends flipped them off. And then my other friend said that one of the skater boys beat someone up at the same park we are at. I don't feel safe around those people. Especially because one of the white males sitting with us said the N-word. But they left after a few minutes.

When we went back their house we just started watching anime. I met their step mom but she left almost right after she saw me. Anyways my mom picked me up and now we are getting Chipotle for dinner! I didn't tell her about the whole store thing or else my parents would kill me though. Because my mom is already threatening to delete all my apps and take away my phone. Like all I said was that I feel uncomfortable with my mom following me on Instagram. And now she's getting all mad and hurt that I don't like her following me. Tomorrow I'm going to hang out with my best friend ever since 2nd grade before they leave for Disney.

January 14th, Okay so my dads car gave out and we had to take him to and from work so I couldn't hang out with my friend. But it's okay because she was throwing up last night. But I'm got kinda nervous about the car situation because  soon my mom is going to get another surgery and she won't be able to walk for a month. And my dad has to work two jobs, sometimes he works from 4:00am-11:00pm and he's extremely tried all the time. And he doesn't want to take me to school even though he has too. It was like this the first time my mom got the surgery. Anyways I might be forced to take the bus to and from school. And I'm scared to because I might wake up late and miss the bus and then my family won't want to take me to school.

I only took the bus home before because of the same reason but still, it was only from school to home. It'll be my first time taking the bus to school and I'm scared for some reason. I only know one person that take the same bus as me and that's my friend that I was supposed to hang out with today. But I don't want to rely on her all the time because like next week, she won't be here with me constantly. I don't know why I'm making a big deal about this but that's currently going on with my life. I honestly tried to remember as much as I could this week but it's still hard to get over that whole situation. I've been through the whole thing before so it's not that bad but it still really hurts since they were my friend. People say they died in their sleep, others say they ki//ed themself, and other say they had a medical problem. Nobody knows the real reason of death and quite frankly I think it's nobody's business to know why or how someone died. But I get it, it's natural for people to want to know. But sometimes, they just need to mind their own business and not get into others.

I'll be posting this tomorrow. To anyone who actually read this, thank you and have a nice
day/night <3