My venting book + Stories(?)

Im Panicking Rn

July 4th, 2023

I'm literally panicking so much right now. This morning I texted my friend  but he was feeling off. Like something made me feel like he was upset with how he was talking so I said, "are you okay?"

He told me that his best friend since 2nd grade died recently and that he's been feeling terrible. Staying in his bed 24/7 and constantly on his phone. So being the best friend I am, I acted like his therapist and made him say positive things about himself. He couldn't even think of one.

Eventually I got him to say positive stuff about himself and then he started ranting about World War II since that made him happy. So I asked if he was alright and he said I made him feel better. For a couple minutes we kept sending each other TikTok's and instagram reels but he started to leave me on delivered.

I started to ask if he was alright but he my messages turned green for some reason. That literally never happens. But I was worried so I called him. His voicemail sounded like he was in the middle of crying.

He won't answer any of my messages, snapchats, calls or anything. He literally blocked me. Even his voicemail sounds like he's crying.

I literally told my mom and sister and they just told me to stop worrying and that his phone just died but our texts do not change color when our phones die. I swear to god I think he...himself. I'm on the verge of tears and all my mom and sister have to say are "don't worry, he'll text you tomorrow. His phone just died" Knowing damn well the only thing they know about him is that he's in a fucking band.

I SHOULDVE TOOK IT AS A SIGN. HE DIDNT CARE ABOUT GIVING ME ALL HIS MONEY BECAUSE HE WAS PLANNING IT. CALL ME CRAZY OR DELUSIONAL BUT I SWEAR TO GOD ALL THE SIGNS ARE POINTING TO HIM KILLING HIMSELF AMD I REALLY DONT WANT THAT TO BE THE CASE.

So basically a week ago he told me that he has $4,000 and when I asked for it all he just said he didn't care. He would've gave me all his money. And I heard that randomly giving people things is a sign that they're gonna kill themself.

Summary:
This morning I texted my friend but he seemed off so I asked him what's wrong and he told me that his best friend just died. It turned into me being his therapist and me trying to get him to feel better, which I did. We started to send each other memes but he soon left me on delivered. I think he blocked me because my messages started to not say 'delivered' which is what usually happened when someone blocks me. But then my messages started to turn green and he wouldn't answer his messages, snapchats, and calls. Even his voicemail sounded like he was about to cry. I told my mom and sister but they made the situation worse by trying to gaslight me into thinking that everything was okay. "Don't worry his phone is just dead and he's spending time with his family." 1. This literally never happens when his phone dies 2. His family literally kicked him out of the house and he lives in the garage 3. I'm the one who actually knows him and they only thing that you guys know is that he's in a band that I told y'all about. So that made me extremely pissed off. I just don't want my thoughts to be true or else I don't know what I would do. He literally helped me so much this year. We were like each others therapist and I don't want to see him gone.

I'll update y'all later if anything good or bad happened.