My venting book + Stories(?)

April 17, 2023

I just broke up with my boyfriend. If you've been keeping track of my relationship status then you know why. My friends have been coming up to me all day saying that I made the right choice and asking how I was. It's not like he broke up with me and now I'm heartbroken. But to be completely honest, I feel extremely guilty.

I was going to break up with him during the weekend but when I was about to do so, my friend said that it's better in person. Because they were experienced in relationships and break ups I trusted them. But as soon as I told my friend my plan she said that the idea was terrible.

I still went with my plan and decided to break up with him during the lunch because food makes people feel better right? Anyways when I told him I was breaking up I'm with him he just responded with, "alright cool". I don't think he heard me but at least I said it.

But I think I made it worse on him because I texted him. I said, "This is kinda awkward now" and he really said "why?". Like bro I just broke up with you. Anyways I repeated that I was breaking up with him and he left me on read. I looked at him from my seat and he was bouncing his leg up and down like he was nervous.

What makes matters 100 times worse is that my friend came up to me and said that he kept saying that he loved me. Not liked. He loved me. I honestly feel terrible. I feel like a horrible person but at the same time I feel confident in myself now. Like, I was brave enough to go up to him and say it in person.

Oh I also almost passed out in ELA. We went outside for a field day kinda thing but the sun was so bright I overheated. But they literally saw me and did nothing. And my teacher got angry at me saying that I should've told her but I physically couldn't. I'm so glad I have my friends in that class with me because all my friends came up to me and made sure I was okay and even called the nurse over. I love my friends so much and I am so glad to have them in my life.

Also, why are we playing games when our ELA STARR test is literally tomorrow?? Aren't we supposed to be going over stuff?? Sorry, that just kinda made me angry. But I've never felt so many emotions at once!
Angry, sad, guilty, confident, tired.

Anyways have a nice day/night y'all.
Make sure to love yourself.