SAMCRO IMAGINE BOOK (complete)

"I wanna mean something."

I've had more than my fair share of being used by people who make me think they love me and that I mean something to them. only for them to turn around and show that it was nothing more than a Joke, a game, or a bet.

I've cried countless times it seems like I've run out of tears.

I've watched some of my old friends find love and get married. some of the weddings I was part of.

and I've often would wounder when it was me getting to experience it all.

I've wanted a family just as much as I've wanted a loving partner. and I knew apart from adoption I'd have be inseminated.

which is just what I had done in order for me to have a family since a grand majority of single parents will not be exccpeted as a qualifying person at adoption agencies.

when I moved to a new town called Charming and had a one night stand with a beautiful man who was heavily tatted.

my life seemed to have hope. thought I should've not put so much faith into it just in case heartbreak was to come.

the insemination fell through but the condom that the guy was wearing broke apparently cause I am pregnant.

I guess me mean something to someone who will be with my own child cause I've not heard anything from that beautiful stranger.

"are you ok?" some lady asked

I wiped my eyes.

"I wanna mean something to someone for a change and I guess that person will be my unborn child" I replied

"don't give up hope hun. I'm sure there is someone out there for you" she says

I gave a sarcastic laugh.

"I had thought the same till I went through so much heartache and shit due to assholes filling my head with lies." I tell her

"I've experienced the same but. I found me someone who I didn't even know I needed till he walked into my life." she says

I looked fully at her.

"seems like everyone around me gets their happiness while I have to be alone in this world" I say and wipe more tears.

" I have faith that a good man will walk into your life and sweep you off your feet in the best way possible" she says

"if he ever exists I'd not know what to do with myself much less him" I tell her

She gave a partial smile before she walked away.

I leaned my head back against the wall and just watched as families and couples manadered through the park.

"you know you're not an easy woman to find."

I looked over and seen the beautiful man.

"you've been looking for me?" I asked

"yeah. I wanted to know you more. I mean that night wasn't enough for me" he says taking a seat by me.

"not much to know about me" I say

"you seem like me someone who wants to be loved in all the right ways for all the right reasons. yet get the shitty end of the deal every time you think it will happen" he says

"sadly yes." I say

"If you give me a chance I'd love to chance that" he says

"whats the catch or bet?" I asked

"I'm not doing this for a bet or with anything attached like a catch. I'm wanting you. I fell for you that night and I wanna be with you. so we can be something to each other." he says

I started getting emotional and he wiped the tears away and lightly kissed me.

"Well I do need to tell you something and I wasn't hiding this I just never could get in touch with you. I'm carrying your baby" I tell him

"which makes things even better. you and I can be in a relationship and be parents," he says

"I hope this isn't some fucking joke," I say

"wanna go marry me right now in vegas? then I'll take you home and pleasure your body better than that night" he says

"yeah. lets go" I say 

I knew it probably is stupid but at the moment I didn't care. 

After he and I got married in Vegas we came back and he held true to his word.

and I fell harder than ever before.