Regal [h.s]

Chapter Thirty Six

"I'll stay in the pool and drown, so I don't have to watch you leave"

♔ ♔ ♔

Amalia

Harry had been pacing once again. He's creating tracks in the carpet by now. It kills me to just sit back and watch whilst he's fighting a war inside of his head.

Though he had been a little calmer this morning. He had woken up with a smile in his face but he couldn't hide the shakiness of his hands.

He had spent most of the morning pacing up and down the carpet, but thankfully remaining calm on the outside. There had been no breakdowns or tears, just quiet looks of desperation.

We could just flick each other a look and we could both tell just how much we were freaking out inside. Luckily Taya had swung by this morning to take Cose off of our hands, so there was no chance of her meeting these strangers and starting to ask questions because we certainly didn't have the answers.

"They'll be here in five minutes" Harry speaks with a green sea sick look washing over him. If he hunched over the toilet I'm sure he would actually be sick.

All we could do now was to sit tight and twiddle our thumbs like lemons whilst we wait for them to arrive. It was purely a waiting game now. A sick one.

"It'll be fine" I assure him for the millionth time, but I'd be lying if I said I was only saying that for his sake. Inside I was crumbling too.

This wasn't even my family and yet I was shaking like a leaf. I was mainly petrified of the words that may come out of my mouth unconsciously. They hadn't been kind to Harry, nor had they shown him the love he deserves and yet I'm supposed to sit there with a smile on my face and welcome them into my home.

I wasn't entirely sure I could pull it off. I wasn't sure my lips were strong enough to keep snappy words back.

As much as I wanted to scream and shout from the rooftops that Harry deserves the moon, stars and more, I needed to just hold everything in and take a breath. I needed to constantly remind myself that this is not my choice and this is not for me to get involved with unless Harry says otherwise. The last thing I want to do is to upset him. Especially at such a vulnerable time.

I think Harry was covering up just how brave he was being. It's a lot for anyone, but when you put into consideration the huge step we had made just over a week ago, it puts it into perspective just how much our broken hearts and souls are having to process at the same time.

"And please Mar, please don't shout or get mad at them, I know they deserve it, but please, I just want to have a civil conversation with them" he begs for the fifth time this morning. He clearly has little faith in me.