Regal [h.s]

Chapter Seventy Nine

"Changing the world to be ours"

♔ ♔ ♔

Harry

I had always wanted a big family. I grew up in a family where it was just my mum and my sister for the longest time. My dad was pretty absent in my life and I honestly hadn't even seen him in about an year now. I never grew up with a whole host of people surrounding me, but growing up, I always wished for a big family.

Before I met Mar, I always thought that my anxieties would hold me back from ever experiencing a relationship like this. I though that I'd spiral the minute I met a girl, four years ago, I had no idea that I'd be here today, holding a woman that I was going to make my wife, with two beautiful children snoozing in their beds.

Four years ago I had no idea that a third one could possibly be on the way.

I didn't think I'd have all of this. I didn't think I'd be opening my own rescue centre, I didn't think I'd have this house and this happiness, this peace and this love.

It's like I had dreamed of these moments forever and I was living it all.

I couldn't really believe my luck most days, but especially today. It was Marlie's twenty sixth birthday, and it felt like a pretty significant day today. We were in the bathroom, sat on the floor with shaking hand and racing hearts.

There was a pregnancy test sitting on the toilet seat. The alarm had gone off and it was time to look at it. But it was scary.

Deep down I wanted more babies, and I had said before that I'd raise about a million of Marlie's babies. I'd never get sick of it. But I wasn't sure if we could cope with having a baby right now. I wasn't sure if it was the right time.

Ottie was still young and the centre was being built, Mar and I were throwing ourselves into work, and I wasn't sure a baby would be good for the mix. Of course I wanted one, but it was just a scary time, and inevitably, it was up to Marlie on what she decided, and from what she had been saying, I think she was pretty certain on wanting a baby, she had talked herself into it.

We had done this twice before, but it would always be a scary time. It would always feel new and worrying. Maybe that was why I just couldn't bring myself to pick that test up and take a look.

Of course if it was positive then I'd be absolutely over the moon, there isn't anything else I'd want than to raise another little love with Marlie, but if it's negative, then I guess it just wasn't our time.

"I love you- you know that" I look at Marlie before I lift my shaking hands from hers and go to pick up the stick, it just feels like a force is keeping me back.