Regal [h.s]

Chapter Thirty Eight

"I just wanna stay in that lavender haze"

♔ ♔ ♔

Amalia

Being with Harry and Cose was quite possibly my most favourite thing in the whole entire world. Though these days at home have been endless, stuck inside a prison of our own minds.

I long to go outside and just be free. I must've talked Harry's ear off with the amount of times I've dragged on about how desperately I needed to get out of the house and go on a walk. I needed some fresh air and I was fed up of hiding.

I was itching to get out and just resume life as normal. I was near desperate to just step outside, perhaps take Cose out on her scooter or take a ball to the park. I just needed to do something that made me feel more human again. I was a robot running on barely any power. Just a shell of a woman I once was. I needed some form of normality again to feel like me.

Because I have never felt less like me than I have recently. I just feel empty, completely exhausted and drained. My body was barely keeping up with me.

I just wanted to get out and live the life I wanted to. I was getting sick of being cooped up inside, with the curtains shut and no routine.

"Just for half an hour- not even that! Please- I just need to get out before I completely explode" I plead Harry again, begging him to take into consideration how trapped I'm feeling at the moment.

He claims it'd probably do more harm than good if we stepped out into the world for the first time since we left the institution, but we couldn't say stuck inside forever, we needed to step out into the sun at some point whether it was now or in three weeks time.

It was something we'd have to face eventually.

"But the tabloids Mar" he tries to make me see. He's taken our safety into his hands and he's protecting it with his whole entire life. He's keeping it safe and he refuses to let anyone touch him.

I appreciate his concern as always, it warms my heart that someone thinks of me in that way and is protecting me like that, but I need to leave the house before I go anymore insane than I already am.

"But we'll have to get out eventually! I don't care what the tabloids say Harry, I just want to get out the house. Cose needs some normality before this starts to impact her too" I prove my point, I just needed to get out.

"Why don't we just go to Frankie's house or something? Why don't we play in her garden, we can take Rusty and we can play in her garden, yeah?" He tries to reason with me, selecting a much safer option than going to the park. That way we can get out and get some fresh air, just without the camera's and the hoards of men surrounding us until we can't breathe and bear to stand.