My New Life

Chapter 49: The Island Exam Pt.6

I sighed as I sat down near the bonfire.

Just like I thought, Koenji had already pulled out of the competition, making us lose 30 points, but that's not really the reason I feel like this.

Well, it partly did.

It reminded me of the big main difference between Koenji and I.

Mostly everyone else had already retired to bed by now, but despite how tired I was, I just needed this time to think to myself alone.

Just staring at the sparking heat of the bonfire.

"You're still up?"

I didn't bother moving my gaze from the fire, mesmerized by the dancing flames I was watching.

I did bother with responding though.

"I needed some time to myself." I said truthfully.

"Ah, would you like me to leave?"

"...No, you can stay."

She walked over, sitting on the log right next to me, also turning her gaze to watch the fire.

"Tensai, is something troubling you?"

A lot of things.

"Not particularly, why do you ask?"

"You just seem more tired than usual, are you sure you're okay?"

"Kikyo... thank you for your concern."

In truth, I did want to talk about that problem with her, but for some reason, the words were getting stuck in my throat.

"Tensai?"

I cleared my throat.

"I've been, thinking, about both you and Sakayanagi. I've come to realize something."

"And?"

I looked over at her, and she was looking at me with hopeful eyes.

The light from the bonfire was dancing beautifully along her skin, making her more captivating than normal, and I felt a blush creep across my face.

"I... I don't know."

That's not, Shizukana, you can't back out now.

"I can't, choose between you two, it's too hard."

"Then what are you saying?"

"It's nothing, the more I think about it, the worse it sounds."

"What is "it?""

"Well... I was wondering if it was possible, if maybe, I could have you both. But the more I think about it, the more I realize h-how bad of an idea it is. For one, it's really selfish, too selfish, and the other rea-."

"You don't want to hurt our feelings."

I closed my mouth at that, nodding my head.

Kushida sighed, before moving herself to lean against my arm.

"Tensai, do you honestly think that would work out? I don't. Just because you're afraid to hurt our feelings doesn't mean you have the right to suggest for us to share the man we love."

"I know."

I spoke quietly.

"I'm sorry."

"You said before that the idea was selfish, but have you thought to consider how selfish we are? I don't know about Sakayanagi, but I know one thing for sure."

She wrapped her arms around me, leaning against me.

"I know I'm selfish, I want you all for myself, and no one else. I'm sure Sakayanagi thinks the same. Even if we both agreed to your ridiculous proposal, you'd still be hurting us both, because we both want you for ourselves. At least that's what I think."