My New Life

Chapter 88: Confrontation

When I entered onto the school rooftop, there was an eerie quietness.

The cool wind of the day was causing my hair to move with it, and my unbuttoned blazer to flap like sheets set out to dry.

Kushida's eyes were wide as she stared at me, clearly confused, and growing more worried by the second.

I kept a straight face, just staring back at her.

She saw very clearly that I was pissed at her.

"Ryuen, leave us."

"No problem." He sent a mock two-fingered salute my way, before walking past me, leaving the rooftop.

"Ten...sai."

This was the only word she could manage to get out right now.

It was clear she was confused.

"Desire for approval."

She flinched, and clutched her hands to her chest.

"...What?"

The best place to start, would be from the beginning.

"Desire for approval. Someone who seeks positive attention, who relishes in it, bathes in it, and ultimately comes to feel that they crave it more than anything. How is someone supposed to do that though? In your situation it must have been difficult. You're not the smartest, you're not the strongest, you're not the funniest, you're not the cutest. There's always someone better than you in a certain field no matter where you look. So what do you have to do to gain approval again? You have to be the best at something. You learned that you could be number one by being gentle and kind to everyone. You could be the most trustworthy person in the class."

She was trembling.

This must be something out of a nightmare for her.

"Tensai, what, what are you saying? How do you...?"

"But that must have been hard, it was definitely hard. People coming to you to say things that you found disgusting, but always laughed it off, while learning people's secrets, things you had to hide, it was definitely stressful. That's why you let it out, you wrote a blog, it was anonymous of course, but the pieces were put together when someone from your class saw it."

"No... stop it! Who, was it-!"

All sorts of emotions kept circulating on her face.

Anger, fear, regret, sadness, they kept cycling and cycling.

"No one told me about your past, I found it out myself after digging into it. It was only a few days after that incident with the pervert that I'd discovered why you were in that situation. I chose to remain silent, because I believed you wouldn't do anything like that anymore, that now that you had good friends, and me, that you wouldn't feel the need to do that anymore."

"So, you, what, then, you lied..."

She didn't even believe in her own words, it was clear she was growing more and more distressed the more I talked.

"Please remember, I was not lying when I told you I loved you not out of pity, but because I was genuinely in love with you for the person you showed me, not the class, me. You're a very straightforward girl who acts on her emotions, and wishes the best for those she cares about, you also have a clumsy cute side which I found adorable. I kept anything related to the word 'pity' out of mind when deciding who I wanted to be with."

She was gripping her fists now.

"It was shortly after that when I discovered something else. You see, Ayanokoji is a very good friend of mine, the two of us are practically brothers. When I'd figured out that you had threatened to expel him from the school, I was appalled, and felt betrayed. I would never think that you would be capable of such a thing. From the depths of my being, I was disgusted with you."