*Badump!*
I put a hand over my chest, feeling strange.
Why was it, that I was feeling like this?
Feelings.
Feelings are difficult, there are some feelings that I haven't experienced, because of how I am.
Negative feelings are the main feelings I've yet to experience.
Despair, loneliness, depression.
I've never felt these before, I've come close to those a few times, but it's incredibly fleeting.
Indeed, I was sad about rejecting Kushida, for example, but that was fleeting.
I was sad about Ibuki not taking me up on my offer, but that was fleeting.
But this feeling right now, what is it?
I've never experienced it before.
No...
I have experienced it exactly once so far, with the rebirth of Horikita.
So then is that what this is?
No, definitely not, this is a feeling made true because of that.
The word I'm looking for is... uncertainty.
I felt tingling sensations at the end of my fingertips.
A cold sweat was forming.
Everything I'd just learned has my body acting in a strange way... and I think I like it.
This is a problem.
Kushida is eliciting emotions out of me I've never felt before, and it's fucking awesome knowing that I'm able to feel like this.
This strange rush, this strange adrenaline.
What is something I can even compare this to?
Like, in a horror movie I guess?
Walking down a creepy abandoned building, your heart beat in your ears as you remain on edge, expecting something to jump out and attack you.
Fuck, this isn't fair.
"It's not, it's not fair."
I looked down, not wanting anybody else to see my face, I even went as far as to cover it with my arms.
I was blushing madly.
It's really not fair, I want to destroy her so badly, but she's gone and done something like this.
She's done something only two other people thus far have managed to do.
Become unpredictable.
Horikita is unpredictable in the sense that she's still evolving, thus what she is and is not willing to do is still up in the air.
Ayanokoji is unpredictable because of his abilities, but we still hold a sense of brotherhood with each other that we let ourselves be read like an open book to one another.
Kushida though, even with all this new information I've learned, I would've never expected her to go as far as to break into my room and steal some of my clothing.
It's really not fair, the fact that she's making me feel like this.
I'm somewhat scared of this unpredictability, but for that same reason I'm feeling excited.
As much as I don't want to, as much as she doesn't deserve it.
This is for me, not for her.
If I can somehow nurture this unpredictability of hers, while also punishing her for her crimes against the others.
YOU ARE READING
My New Life
Fanfiction"Do you not remember who you are?" "A monster." "He's a monster." "You're a monster!" "He's going to be a monster." "Who even are you?" "I'm a human, and the friend of your son. And it doesn't matter who you are, you'll regret it if you intend to ha...
