Falling For the Firefighter - Evan Buckley

Chapter 50: the importance of communication

Kisses

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--Erica's POV--
I can't do this. Maddie lied to Buck and told him I was staying with her while I'd been here. I can't face him. Why would he lie to me? We tell each other everything. I knock on the front door of the apartment and when he opens it up his eyes widen when he sees me. His arms wrap around my body as he asks me thousands of questions.

"Where's Lydia?" He asks looking behind me before closing the door.

"She's with Maddie and Chim still," I tell him as I walk into the kitchen. The dishes have been put away and it looks as if nothing out of the ordinary has happened.

"Maddie wouldn't let me see you. Is everything alright? I know after Maddie had Jee she struggled but I'm here for you...if that's what it is," he tells me making me feel guilty for lying to him. He sees the tears in my eyes and pulls me in again but I push I'm away.

"I can't. I just.....I'm going to take a shower and go to bed. We can talk in the morning," I whisper feeling overwhelmed by how different he's acting from how he was the past two weeks. He tries to say something but I've already locked myself in the bathroom. I start the shower and grab the towels from under the sink. The hospital smell is all over me and I feel like I haven't been clean in years. Let alone slept well. The doctor gave me meds that I have shoved into my pocket. I have to sleep and stay away from extra activities until I'm given the a-okay. When I get out of the shower I walk into the bedroom and thankfully Buck stayed in the living room until I'm done. As I slip on sweatpants I turn to the mirror and see a small bruise on my side from where I fell.

"Baby, please," he whispers walking in and seeing the blue mark on my side. I try to bite my tongue but my curiosity gets the best of me.

"I need the truth," I whisper as he pulls away looking confused, "I talked to Maddie and Chim. You haven't had any late shifts this week," I tell him. His eyes try to hide the shock but I read him like a book. I pull away from his arms and grab a sweatshirt from the closet, "If you don't want me in your life anymore...I need you to tell me the truth," I tell him choking up as I feel his chest against my back.

"There is nothing I want more than to come home and see you every night," he whispers as I turn around.

"So, where have you been? What's been keeping you from your family?" I ask as he looks at the ceiling trying to find the words to say, "Is it another woman?" I ask.

"Not in the way you're thinking," he tells me making my heart collapse in my chest. I walk towards the door and kick my pants, making the pill bottle rattle in my pocket. He bends down and I try to beat him but he pulls them out of my hand. I watch as his eyes read over the label before meeting my gaze.

"What are these?" He asks holding them up in his hand.

"Nothing," I whisper trying to grab them from him.

"These were prescribed yesterday," he tells me taking his phone out to look them up.

"I was in the hospital yesterday...I was released today," I tell him grabbing the pills and slamming them on the dresser. He follows after me with his phone in hand.

"Seizure medication? What is this?" He asks looking at me with a look I've never seen from him before.

"You were too busy with your new girlfriend I didn't want to ruin it for you," I tell him grabbing my keys. He blocks the door so I can't get out. I bite my lip trying not to freak out at him but he won't budge.

"We are talking about this. I'm not letting you walk out of here so you can continue making assumptions," he says making me scoff.

"Right 'cause you've been so good with expressing yourself recently," I point out.

"God damnit. Will you just let me explain?" He yells making me straighten my posture.

"I have been parenting alone while you go around with some skank. I collapsed in our kitchen while you lied about working. I had to rely on a neighbor to call 9-1-1 as I lay passed out on our floor. I'm sorry if my first instinct wasn't to call you," I tell him as a single tear falls down my cheek.

"She isn't some skank," he begins making me want to walk off again, "Stop," he says putting his hand on my arm. I glare at him making him remove his hand and I let out a deep breath for him to continue, "Her name is Natalia. We met at the scene where the lady had a funeral before she died," he says making me close my eyes as I feel lightheaded. I grab onto the couch and he rushes to my side to help me sit down.

"Nothing has happened. Nothing would ever happen," he whispers kissing the top of my head as I cry in his arms, "I've been absent and you deserve better," he says rubbing my back.

"I need you, Buck. I can't do this with anyone else," I cry in his arms, "But why? Why did you see her?" I ask needing the full truth.

"I've been struggling," he whispers. I look up and see him fighting back tears as he looks anywhere but my eyes, "You have so much on your plate that I thought talking to someone else would be better. I fucked up. I know I did but god Erica. I'd never do anything to intentionally fuck this up," he says pushing a strand of hair out of my face.

"Evan, no matter what I'm here to talk. This," I tell him holding up the hand with the ring on it, "Means I'm the person you lean on," I tell him.

"She just....her job is so close to death and the way she talked about it made it seem less scary," he tells me, "But I'm terrified. The thought of leaving you and Lydia alone....it keeps me up at night," he tells me.

"I love you Evan Buckley and the love you feel for that little girl is enough to bring you home every night. If you want to take a break from work to figure things out. I'll pick up extra shifts," I tell him as he shakes his head.

"I shouldn't be putting more stress on you," he tells me pulling me into his body, "Promise me no matter how angry you are at me that I'll be the first person you call if anything goes wrong," he speaks as I nod my head.

"Does she flirt with you?" I ask with my head buried in his chest.

"What?" He asks confused.

"Does she flirt with you?" I repeat.

He lets out a sigh and rubs my back gently, "She did until she found out about you and the engagement. She spent every second we were together telling me that I should be talking to you. But I didn't listen 'cause I was scared to hurt you...look how great that turned out," he mumbles.

"It was a freak thing," I assure him as he stays unconvinced, "But can you come with me to the check-up?" I ask.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world," he whispers.