GROUNDING 🏈 Nick Bosa

#SIXTY SIX.

The boys end up winning the game.

And we all head back into the locker rooms. I was happy that they won, but I wasn't very happy with Nick, considering the way he spoke to me earlier.

I packed up my stuff and was hauling things out when I past Nick in the hallway. I assumed he was going to go do media, I'm sure they were going to eat up his concussion story.

As we pass each other I mumble loudly "Asshole."

He stops and turns around to look at me "What did you just say to me?"

"You herd me, asshole." I keep walking, but he was close behind on my heels.

"Are you fucking serious, Liliana?" He continues to follow me, but then stops mid way.

"Yep, have fun with your hand tonight." I tell him walking out the exit doors beneath the stadium.

I go home to my apartment. Throughly pissed.

Later that night.

I get a knock on my door and roll my eyes. I open it expecting to see Nick, but was caught by surprise to see Joey standing there.

"What are you doing here?" I ask.

"Uh, Nick is freaking out and breaking shit at his house can you come talk to him, please?"

"No, he's a fucking lunatic. I'm not talking to him until he calms down." I tell him.

"That's the thing Lili, I think you're the only person that's going to calm him down." He replies, staring down at me dead in the eyes.

"Look, I honestly, don't like being around him when he's like that. He scares me."

"Yeah, he scares me too, but he loves you. He would never hurt you and if he ever did I swear to god Lili, I would hurt him."

I look at him for a moment wanting to smile, but I didn't even though, that was a nice and comforting thing for him to say.

"Fine, I'll go."

Nicks house.

When we arrive at Nicks house, I wasn't exactly sure what to expect, but I'm sure it wasn't going to be pleasant. Considering how bad his mood swings could be. Him and Joey were more alike then anyone could imagine, Nick just privately acted crazy.

We enter the house and from the very first initial observation there was broken glass everywhere all over the kitchen floor.

Oooh, shit. Here we go. I think to myself.

I go up the stairs and straight into Nicks room and Joey follows in close behind me, hopefully to protect me if Nick goes completely nuclear. I wasn't sure at this point where his mind was from the state of the kitchen.

"Nick?" I softly say, as I see him laying on his back half way on top of his bed.

He lifts his head slightly up and looks at me. "What?"

"Umm.. I mean... why are you breaking things? You guys won your game and this behavior is totally not okay." I stand my ground, but also keep my distance from him.

"I don't know, okay?!" He yells. "I'm just fucking mad!"

I turn my head to look at Joey as if to get answers to this totally insane outburst, but he just shrugs and shakes his head as if this was just the way it was.

Nick was exhibiting very odd behavior and it was beginning to concern me that he may have suffered a CTE injury. Although, there was no really real way to tell for sure, these outbursts were really starting to send me in that direction, though. It softened me a bit to consider that as a thought. Something he loved so much was actually causing him harm, and I didn't want to add anymore pain to what he was already experiencing, but I also couldn't stop it.

I approach him and examine his face. He was still so handsome, I thought.

"Are you mad at me? For calling you an asshole." I ask.

"Well, yeah."

"—But you kinda are. You didn't have to be rude to me at the game earlier. I was just concerned about you, Nick." I gently try to explain.

"Okay, I'm an asshole then and you don't want to be with me." He replies, firmly.

"Oh, my god. I want to be with you, but you choose football over your health, you choose football over you, over me, over everything. Where exactly am I going to fit in eventually— other than when you want to fuck me? I don't think you even love me. You don't take my advice... you're sick with a concussion and you seriously thought it was a good idea to go out onto the field today? What am I going to get of you after your career? Just pieces of you? —Because that's what I'm seeing right now. You're not trying to stay healthy... you're not even putting yourself first. You're putting football first. It's a game, Nick..."

"I am football, Lili and football is me." He blankly, says.

"Whatever then. I can't help you."

"No, you can't because I don't need help, Liliana. I need support and today you showed me none. You wanted me to doubt myself and doubt my abilities. Instead, you wanted to put fear and negativity in my heart, not love, not power. You wanted me to worry, you wanted me to not believe in myself. And then you call me the asshole, yeah cool." He shakes his head and looks away from me.

I start to tear up. "That's not it. That's not what I was trying to do at all, Nick and you fucking know that. I'm your biggest supporter, so don't you dare put those words in my mouth."

"Just go, Lili. I don't need you and Joey standing here and lecturing me. I already get lectured enough by coaches, teammates, fans and my own fucking dad. I'm honestly, tired of it all."

"I'm not even lecturing you, dude." Joey says.

"We are literally, just worried about you, Nick." I reply.

"Just go!" He yells.

"I don't think you should be alone." I tell him.

"I want to be alone." He says and looks back at me. "I really, really want to be alone."

"I think you're lying, but fine." I respond.

"Now you think I'm a lair? And an asshole? Wow, you are just amazing aren't you? How about you just congratulate me on the win and move on?" He replies, with pure anger.

"Congratulations, Nick. You are a fucking asshole and you are a fucking lair and I will move on." I have no idea why I said this, but I was mad at him and hurt. I wanted him to hurt at this point because he seemed so cold.

Joey and I exit the house and as we get into his car he looks at me and says "After that shit show, do you wanna go to the beach and get high with me?"

"Yeah, let's go." I say, wanting to completely errase what just happened.

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