GROUNDING 🏈 Nick Bosa

#EIGHTY NINE.

After John leaves I watch Nick mix up some pre work into a glass. He was quite and focused on his task.

"Nick.." I say, delicately.

"Yeah?" He looks up for a moment.

"You're going through so much right now."

"Yep. We've been over that." He answers, coldly.

"I think you should see a therapist. It would be good for you to talk to someone outside of your circle." I tell him, carefully.

"I don't need to go tell some random stranger my secrets." He murmurs.

"—But they're not secrets. Unless, you have secrets?" I stare at him from across the kitchen countertop.

"Doesn't everyone?" He stares back before tossing the spoon into the sink. The loud sound of the metal bouncing around caused me to jump.

"Maybe you can talk to me about the things that are bothering you?" I asks, gently.

"You know what's fucking bothering me, Liliana."

"Yeah, but you won't talk about it. You think you do, but you actually just skip around it and try to sidetrack and distract from what's actually hurting you." I say, honestly. I didn't want to push him too hard, because I know it would just shut him down, but I needed him to just open up more.

"I don't talk to therapists." He says, sternly.

"Talk to me, please." I softly, beg.

"You already know everything, you've been here, you've seen it and lived it." He replies.

"I'm not talking about us. I'm talking about the pain that you've been carrying since the first day I met you." I tell him.

He was about to take a drink from his glass, but he stops and looks at me. "Liliana, that pain is a burden for only me to carry."

"Let me carry it with you. I can help."

"No!" He raises his voice and his body becomes tense. "I think it's a little too late for that."

"It's like looking through a fucking telescope with you, Nick. I can see you, but I can't reach you, I'll never reach you and that's exactly what you want." I stare at him. My heart was continuously breaking, because of this man and even if I moved across the country, I don't think I would ever escape the heartache.

"I don't even want you to see me. So, you can stop trying already." He says.

"—Because you're so afraid that I will see right through your bullshit, right?" I sneer.

"You already see through my bullshit, Liliana. You might be the only one who does."

"I think that's a lie, I think there's many different layers to your bullshit. I'm not sure if I've even gotten past the first one."

We stare at each other for a long time.

"Do you love me?" I ask, quietly.